Outsourcing parenting

We are shrinking the world by making sure that all the blanks are filled up, too soon, too fast. And our kids grow up thinking they are perfect, living in a perfect world where there is nothing like getting hurt or failing. And more than that we want them to be oh-just-so-perfect.

This Sunday morning I was seething when rage when I read about finishing schools in the city for five-year-olds. Apparently even parents of three-year-olds call up these finishing schools to train their kids. And the schools will teach the kids all about Ps and Qs along with where a spoon should be kept and how to execute the right handshake. Really???? Do our kids need such schools?

I am not sitting on a pedestal and judging these parents. I have my own failures to look at. I am half the time guilty for not teaching my child all about good manners, proper etiquettes and all that lies in between. The MLS knows she can’t butt in when two people speak and has to say ‘excuse me’ if she needs to be heard, often uses thank you and sorry generously, and would greet some people at a slight nudge. But that’s about it. I have miles to go before I can claim proudly about my child’s behaviour.

Having said that I would never go to the extent of sending her to a finishing school and bring out a readymade product set to behave like a robot. I would rather have her spill her milk, use a spoon instead of fork than let her be taught by a stranger about what should be used when. We are great believers of outsourcing but, hey, since when did parenting also go the same way. Okay, we can rent wombs, decide the date and way of delivering the child. And now even let others teach our kids how to behave properly. So what would a parents’ role be in the modern set up? Attend PTA meetings???

I wish we did some of the work ourselves. Least of all parenting shouldn’t be left for others to be taken care of. Don’t we owe them this the least?

Being Mommy

Today the MLS had to enact the role of a mother to two boys in a small skit. We were quite excited about drapping her in a saree, putting some make up, and the works. She was most excited about putting the nail paint as she loves colour on her nails. She was quite worried when I put on lipstick. She said now it won’t go away and how it’s going to take too long and that she is going to drink loads of water so that its wiped away instantly.

Anyway’s the performance in school was on monsoons and all the kiddies dressed in myraid hues just added to the beautiful day. The proud parents sat is hushed silence even as each performance was enacted. MLS was a rockstar with no stage fright. Some wept, some forgot their lines and some shined. MLS belonged to the last category.

She walked in the saree like a pro and wanted to hold her pallu in her arm just as some socialities do. But good sense prevailed and she realised she wouldn’t be able to do any actions if she went like that. The girl surely knows her fashion and didn’t want kajal in her eyes as she said it will make her eyes all black.

So some performance it was, and there are now many more to come.

Where everyone has a dad

MLS was telling me something about her day in school when she told me an incident. “Mama, today Ronika madam’s dad called. And I couldn’t stop laughing.” I was a bit worried. What was so funny about it, I asked. She goes on saying, “Madam’s papa called, it was funny.” Her next question was, “How can Madam have papa?”

Then I had to tell her just like her dad and mom have their respective dads, even her madam is entitled to a dad. Then the young mind wanted to know if everyone in this world had a dad. I said yes. To which the next question was if birds and animals also had dads. Yes, my dear. For the moment she just needs to know about it. Nothing more than this!

It is another story for another day that there are orphans too in this world— just as the 10-year-old who lost both her parents that day and has to look after her three siblings including an infant.

… And I’m back

It’s been one long year, 363 days to be precise from my last post. So I am back having woken up from my deep slumber and laziness. Thanks to blogger Chandni whose blog I read without fail, her recent comment on my last post (which was posted on July 17, 2010) made me pick myself, open the blog, dust off the cobwebs and start writing. Okay, so now this is just going to be a clean-up post.

I promise I will be a good girl and post as often as possible. I have to write about Miss Little Sunshine, how the four-year-old’s mind works and what is keeping me on my toes every single day. This blog, now that it has been revived would never be treated with such indifference and callous apathy that politicians reserve for general junta.

In this last one year, MLS has started formal school, I have been to many beautiful places for work, took holidays, managed home without a maid and lived life every single moment. I have greyed more, have lost more hair and put on more lard as it may burst.

So all this and much more in the coming posts. So stay tuned in case if ever anyone opens this blog.

Parenting perils

There is all this brouhaha over parenting. There is this school of thought that says spare the rod and spoil the child. Then there are a set of parents who believe that saying ‘no’ to a child is not the right approach to parenting. As far as I am concerned, I don’t go by any rulebook. Though there are certain things which I often would like to do without giving any heed whatsoever to the rulebook.

I have my days when MLS is given a tight spank on the bum or even a slap on cheek. Though I regret it later, in the heat of the moment, I lose all my control. The instances which make me mad and lose all patience is when she refuses to get ready on time even as her school bus is about to reach doorstep or when she refuses a meal even as I am hurrying to get her ready and head to office.

Now, I know yelling or spanking a child is not the right way to get things done. But from where do you bring patience when your life is a roller-coaster ride all along. Most working moms would agree that time is a crucial factor them. For that matter even SAHMs too have their strict schedules. In this age of instant gratification and a marathon race, where does one find the patience to sit with a child when he or she is throwing a tantrum? My MIL has a favourite saying, “Parenting is a book and each stage is a chapter. The problems with kids would always remain, it’ just a new chapter with every stage.” Yeah, I know. When she was an infant I longed for her to be a toddler so that all those feeding and nappy changing could come to an end. Now that she is a toddler, I long for her to be a bit more mature so that she values time.

God, it’s a never ending saga. But for all this cribbing, when my lil MLS comes and rubs her nose on my cheeks and plants a kiss, I know I am blessed. All my hardships just melt away in the twinkle of her eyes.

Come, my friend

Well, that’s what she called her dad one day.

And her other friends are the stray dogs and ants. If a stray is outside our house, MLS promptly would want to feed the dog. She would coax me into taking out a bowl of milk and bread. She would the feed the stray to its heart’s content and would keep on patting the animal in a matronly fashion. The other day a she saw a spider spinning its web around an ant and came running to her dad, “help my friend”, “who spider ant ko kha raha hai”. She couldn’t rest till the time the said spider was shoved away.

Hours pass into days, days into months and months into years. MLS is already 3 years and two months. In a couple of months we will go through the biggest trauma of her schooling years—the big bad world of nursery admissions. In Delhi, it is scenario which gives every parent of three-year-old sleepless nights. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hope to cross this hurdle with ease.

Letters to my daughter – I

The idea of writing this letter came to my mind from a fellow blogger Parul. She had beautifully penned down a few points for her daughter who turned 1 month last week. Here I am, sitting like a lazy duck, not telling you what I wish you to do and be like.

Read this carefully, for it wouldn’t be everyday that I will remind you about these things.
• Life is never a bed of roses for anyone, so thank God for what you have and not crib about what you don’t.
• Never waste anything—be it food, water or electricity. There are many people out there who live without these basic elements in their life.
• Learn to laugh at yourself. You will never be short of friends.
• Good friends are as important as your family. So never prioritise between the two.
• Stand up and sing along when the national anthem plays, irrespective of who else is doing it.
• Never abuse your nation, it is as bad as abusing your mother. Don’t think what your country has given you, instead wonder what you have done for your country to deserve anything better.
• Follow two things passionately—reading and traveling. Nothing can replace the joy of a good book and striking random conversation with a stranger about a scenic locale.
• Respect everyone – the maids, drivers, sweepers, shopkeepers. Your job is as important as theirs.
• Say please and thank you.
• Don’t be scared to own up. Failures are what make us the person that we are for hadn’t it been for those nasty monsters we wouldn’t have know how angelic life is.

To be or not to be…

…a mother of two is the question here. It has been an ongoing confusion since the day I decided to bring the fruit of my womb into this world.

First I was told how important it is to get married, then I was pressured into having the baby at the ‘right’ age and now all that the elders in the family can talk of is how important is a sibling for my Miss Little Sunshine.

It comes as no surprise that she adores kids, especially those younger to her. She wants to mother them— feed them, take care of them and play with them. This is shown as an example to me over the need for having a second child. It tears me down when people tell me how single children could be selfish, arrogant and grow up to be self-centered individuals.

With a job that keeps me busy and a house to run, would it be justifiable to bring a child to the world just for the sake of ‘two child’ concept? I really don’t know.

Does it make sense to have a second child only because you want to give your child a sibling?

Moving away from toddlerhood

My Miss Little Sunshine turned three on May 18. The b’day party in the middle of the week left your parents tired (we had to take leave the next day as well). The morning started with a visit to a doc, as MLS had sore throat and cough. We had just returned two days back from Shirdi and the heat took its toll not just on you but everybody else. It was a wonderful trip, sans the heat and train journey. By the end of the spiritual retreat, you just said “Bar baar hotel, baar baar mandir” I guess you got tired of all the religious things.

Coming back to your D-day, we were given perfect instructions by you that you wanted a cake in the shape of your fav cartoon character Doremon. So the order was dutifully placed and so was the teeny weenie decorations done at the house using balloons. You insisted on blowing up the balloons that in the end we just had to abandon the idea of putting up more balloons. You went around inviting your friends in the locality for the evening party. You enthusiastically sorted out the books for the return gift and wanted to know who was getting what. You were more keen in handing out the return gifts than in your gift itself.

Well you have been once again deluged with dolls and toys and surely now has every animal as a soft toy. Be it the tortoise and pug that you cling to or your doremon, elephant, leopard and the endless other characters strewn across the house.

The party was one big affair with a dozen kids and an equal number of adults. Though you had strict instructions from doc not to have cake or anything else, we could do little to keep you away from the goodies. Despite being sick and not sleeping in the afternoon, you put up a brave face the entire day till 12.30 at night when we finally crashed. I thought you would get cranky but I believe you loved all the attention being showered on you. You flitted across the house interacting with every one absorbing all the fun.

God Bless you, my little girl. Soon you will be a young lady and I just wish that you turn out to be a nice human being. May God shower you with all the happiness in the world and grant you the strength to deal with the adversities in life.

30 things in the 30th year

It is an idea copied from a few of my fellow bloggers. And I want to write it down for posterity. Even if I am able to manage 15 things out of the 30 this year then I would consider myself a success. Some of them may just overlap with things that I would like to do in the next 30 years. 30 is a magical figure, I love it  So here goes the list

1. Go white water rafting.

2. Visit Vaishno Devi and Venice.

3. Visit Kerala, Laddakh, Daman and Shillong. Well that covers the four corners of our country.

4. Go on a foreign holiday (Singapore, Bali, Mauritius,,,,,,,,, anywhere will do)

5. Write a book.

6. Go on an all-girls vacation.

7. Go on a solo back-packing trip.

8. Learn swimming and driving (yeah, I am outdated….don’t know either).

9. Learn salsa or jazz, preferably with hubs.

10. Bake a cake (all my previous experiments in the microwave have turned Rock On!!!)

11. Learn to cook lip-smacking Chinese and Italian dishes.

12. Finish reading Atlas Shrugged, One Hindered years of Solitude, War and Peace.

13. Shed 10 kilos and get back to my pre-pregnancy shape.

14. Learn to be more patient and calm.
15. Learn power yoga, ashtanga yoga, pilates and tai chi (even learning one this year would make me happy)

16. Buy a ruby and emerald set/ kundan set.

17. Try to be yummy mummy for the bunny.

18. Adopt a sport into my hectic schedule (badminton, TT, swimming).

19. Go on a cruise/ wildlife safari.

20. Plan a school reunion where everyone comes with their spouse and kids.

21. Develop a taste for everything brown……brown rice, brown bread, flax seeds………..
22. See at least two of the Seven Wonders of the World.

23. Attend an Art of Living workshop.

24. Discover my spiritual side — adopt meditation.

25. Buy a house, anywhere in the world but BUY

26. Attend a concert.

27. Develop a taste for sushi.

28. Donate more often (blood, clothes, time, money)
29. Associate myself with an NGO.
30. Do a new course, study further.

A helping hand- II

My Miss Little Sunshine wants to be incharge of everything. She roams around the house keeping a track of returning things to their rightful owners. She will tell other babies how to sit on a pottyseat and pee. She will scold in her own sweet language if one does not listen to her. It is an absolute joy watching her. These are the times when I thank God for his blessings. To having me gifted with this bundles of joy. An absolute sweetheart who has leadership qualities too. My MIL and SIL keeps telling me that I dont have to worry about my second kid as my Miss Little Sunshine will do a good job of an elder sister.

A beautiful poem

This is a poem that I read in one of the fwd mails and I wanted to keep it for posterity. I loved this poem and hope to indulge my Miss Little Sunshine as much as possible. Life is short and we should never shy away from laughing and enjoying it as much as possible.

DAD – BABY RACHEL – MOM

A sad Dad\\\’s poem…
This is a beautiful poem wriiten by a Zimbabwean dad for his daughter who was detected with cancer. Let us pray to almighty that the baby is hale and hearty now. Dear God, please don’t play a cruel joke on the parents

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to

smile when I see your face and laugh

when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you

choose what you want to wear,

and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step

over the laundry and pick you up and take you to

the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the

dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put

that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug

the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with

you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell

once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and

whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one

if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won\\\’t worry

about what you are going to be when you grow up, or

second guess every decision I have made where you are

concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you

help me bake cookies, and I won\\\’t stand over you

trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us

to McDonald\\\’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can

have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in

my arms and tell you a story about how you were

born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you

splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you

stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle

beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my

finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be

grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and

fathers who are searching for their missing children, the

mothers and fathers who are visiting their children\\\’s

graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers

and fathers who are in hospital rooms

watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming

inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold

you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,

that I will thank God for you, and ask him for

nothing, except one more day…

Wake Up and Smell the coffee

Today, I met a friend for lunch. This is a guy who has been married for about 10 years now and has a seven year old son. I knew he was having an unhappy married life. He started discussing his marriage during the course of our conversation.

He feels that he cannot coexist with his wife anymore. He thinks his wife needs counseling. “She has become a nagging wife and behaves foolishly,” he says.

Theirs was a love marriage. I asked him where you not aware of you wife’s habits when you were dating each other. He tells me lot of things change when you start sharing a bed under the same roof. Now they have zilch physical and mental intimacy. He says he sees very few happily married couples. Most of them are happy to be unhappily married and looks for avenues outside marriage to keep themselves busy. He is extremely busy with his work and whatever time is left is devoted to the son.

Why is the institution of marriage crumbling? How our parents were happily married and stayed together till their last breath? He tells me they used to compromise a lot. Now we don’t want to compromise. “We compromise everywhere right from our bosses to colleagues and the last place I want to end up compromising is my home,” he says. I am left speechless.

Well, why is compromise such a negative word? Isn’t it supposed to help us live our lives in a better way? By compromising a bit, I share a seat with my fellow passenger in the metro train. Agreed, both of us are uneasy and not in the best of comfortable seating but its better than standing an hour in an over-crowded metro. So, isn’t compromise a better choice than having to suffer?

Why do people forget that gray is better shade than black or white. This is a shade that allows us lot of liberty. We can always look for an in-between solution for our problems. In the same way marriages are not either happy marriages or unhappy marriages. It can be a marriage which has its shares of ups, downs, joy, fights, laughter, arguments, sorrow, adjustments and compromise.

This friend’s son has started figuring out the mounting tension between his parents. But they will not separate as they do not want their son to have a troubled time trying to divide time with both of them. So will the kid be happy seeing his parents being unhappy for the sake of his happiness. Does parenting tell us that being together is the key to good upbringing of kids?

My friend, please wake up and smell the coffee!!!

Metro musings

I travel to and fro to work in the metro. The metro ride is usually of 30 minutes and never have I felt uncomfortable in a metro journey. It’s not a journey where you may feel nauseated if you don’t get a seat. It is a ride where seats should ideally be offered to people who are in need.

The only time I have wished someone offered me a seat was when I was pregnant and had swelling in my feet. Even though, it was quite evident that I was pregnant, rarely have people offered me their seat. There have been a few instances when an auntiji or a young college girl would have offered the seat but they are too few to be taken note of.

I often see young people being oblivious to the fact that someone else needs a seat. Either they look the other way or pretend to be asleep. This sets by blood boiling and I often barge in and ask the person to vacate the seat for the old gentleman or a lady who has an infant in her arms. Where has civility gone? Is chivalry an obsolete word in the modern day dictionary? How can people sit comfortably when you see someone else is in need of a seat?

I prefer to stand and whenever I get a seat I make it a point to vacate it to people who should be there instead of me. It gives me immense happiness when I give my seat someone in need, never mind half the time they don’t even bother to thank you. Courtesy, well what’s that? People step on your toes, push you and never bother to apologize.

Sorry, this is Delhi. I guess I am a fool to expect people to show concern for others. Sorry, I may be generalising but if 8 out of 10 people behave this way, what can I say?

A 17-month update

Well she is just a month away from being a year-and-a-half. My Miss Little Sunshine is getting naughtier by the day as she is becoming clever. She understands whatever I tell her and often amazes me with her reply. I usually speak to her thinking she won’t understand and the smart cookie gives me an exact answer.

Sentence formation from two to three words is going on and her repertory of words has increased. The other day she saw an apple and said aapplee. Then our favourite game while giving her a massage is saying alphabets. From A to D she says on her own. If I say A she will say B and so on. Beyond that she repeats after I blurt out. She also says 1, 2, 3.

She has also started enforcing her choice. Today while I was putting on her sandals, she said “No” and instead got her shoes. She demanded her shoes be put on and would say Mamaaa chalooooooooooooo as I drop her and the maid to my MIL’s house before leaving for work.

She hasn’t been weaned completely. She is still nursed to sleep and whenever she wakes up she needs the comfort of the breastfeed to fall asleep again. I am finding it tough and don’t understand how to wean her completely.

Also, I want her to sleep peacefully throughout the night without waking up and also in her own cot. At present she co-sleeps as she gets up in the middle of the night and has to be put to sleep again. It becomes a little tiresome transferring her to and fro from bet to cot. Ahem, when will this get over????

I read books to her at bedtime and in the morning when we are reading the newspaper, I give her a paper to read. This makes her feel all grown-up and happy. Usually she spends 15 minutes gazing through it before her patience wades off and the paper finds its way to the bin.

Happy 17 month b’day my sweetheart. Without you, this mom wouldn’t have known the true joy of loving without expectations. Your smile, babytalk and pranks are what keeps me going throughout the day.

My Miss Little Sunshine

I thank my life….

When I hold you in my arms.

When I see your gooey smile.

When you ask me to lift you so that you can rest your head on my shoulder.

When I see you sleep peacefully besides me like a fairy.

When you gently press those tiny lips on my cheek.

When you say words to impress me and make me happy.

I am extremely mad at you …

When you act as a notorious bully.

When you throw your food on bed, carpet, sofa

When you rub your food-smeared hands on my office wear.

When you empty my bag and attempt at tearing a page or two from a book.

When you throw a tantrum and wail inconsolably

When under all these situations I am still left helpless loving you more, my child.

The best moments in my life are…

When we take a walk, me pointing you to flowers, moon and stars.

When you have a bath with your dad so that I can finish reading newspaper.

When we walk together with you holding your hands.

When you feed me your food, carefully putting the spoon in my mouth (It’s another matter that usually its the carpet or the bed that gets the food eventually).

When you diligently repeat every word that I tell you.

When you make an innocent face, looking down when I am yelling at you for a prank.

An ode to “My Lifeline”

Whoever said Books are a man’s best friend couldn’t have been more correct. For books were there with me at every juncture of my life. I can associate certain books with certain periods of my life. Happy moments, sad moments, depressing phase, pimple-sprouting period, etc, etc.

The first memory of books that come into mind are my rhyme and story books. Though I don’t vividly remember much about them its just a colorful juxtaposition of pictures and words.

Summer vacations in primary school can be tracked down to me rooting for David Copperfield or felling sad for Oliwer Twist. I would also be reading and re-reading the posrtions where food was described in detail in Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series. I could salivate for their ginger ale, marmalade, jams and chocolates. Even as I write this, I can visualize the majestic Moor and Timmy wagging his tail.

I associate Sidney Sheldon’s books with my secondary school. While in Class VIII, I stumbled upon a Sheldon book in my school library. And instantly I became his fan. But I don’t read him anymore. In hindsight, I thank Sheldon for those lovely late nights when I hid a Sheldon novel in my biology textbook and pretended studying. My poor parents wondering why I study so hard:)

College was when I became a huge fan of Paulo Coelho, had my share of Chicken Soup and feasted on Garcia. Post graduation was easily completed with the help of Arundhati Roy, Taslima Nasreen, Salman Rushdie, and Alice Walker.

I started reading A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth a few months before I got married. At over 1000 pages, this is one book that I have taken a year to finish. In between, I read many books but this book, each of its characters remains etched in my memory. So, if I were to associate a book with my wedding then it would be “A Suitable Boy”.

In between, I may have read hundreds of books. Books are companion who used put me to sleep before Sunshine came into our lives. My books now provide me company on my metro journey to work. The one-hour journey to and fro suits me perfect for I am able to finish a book in two weeks time.

A few of my favourite books include The Hungry Tide, Alchemist, Loss of Inheritance, The God of Small Things, To Kill a Mockingbird, Alice in Wonderland, Love in the time of Cholera, Celestine Prophecy, and many more. The list is never-ending……………..

Of Friendships and Friends

 

 

I think friendship is a completely misunderstood concept, especially in my social circle. I guess the people I know give friendship such a backseat that it often ends up meaning a remote phone call and some pleasant chit chat.

 

Not that I am whining about my friends in this post, I have lots of friends. Some great friends, some not so great and some that have deteriorated to the realm of just Diwali and New Year SMSses. You know what I mean.

 

For me friends have always held a special place in my heart. They are the ones whom I turn to when things go wrong, they are the ones whose company I crave for when I need to have a party or simply to crash out. They are my ego boosters and also ego tamers. They make me look at the world beyond those rose tinted glasses.

 

Our friendships evolve with time. Some are our school buddies who know how we looked and behaved while growing up, some are office buddies who know how we tackle deadlines and some are just our agony aunts or punching bags. You look up to every friend of yours for a different reason.

 

Well, I guess I am digressing. Getting back to the point I guess we think our friends are not capable of going beyond the customary obligations. With relatives we take things for granted but when friends do things for us out of the ordinary it leaves us with gratitude for them. Is that really important?

 

Maybe we need to rework the equation. Friendships should not be about gratitude. It is like walking into your buddy’s house unannounced yet expecting a warm cuppa with a broad grin on the face. Can I do something like this with any of my friends? Sadly, I can’t recollect even one name. Most of them are busy with their lives and the few who would have welcomed me with open arms do not stay in the same city any longer.

 

Gosh, how I miss my friends, their homes and their lending ears. Is anyone listening?

 

 

 

Terror: Mumbai bleeds, once again

I woke up this morning only to read “Terror war on Mumbai”. I was caught in an array of emotions—fear, anger, pity, loathe….. My first reaction was to switch on the TV and then frantically call my friends in Mumbai to check about their safety. Thank god, all are safe and sound. But those people who have been killed so ruthlessly mean nothing to me? They do and I send a silent prayer for all those who have been directly and indirectly affected by this.

 

I am scared and frightened. I am also angry and want to know who can save us from these terrorists? I feel pity towards such people who for their selfish means hold a city or rather a nation to ransom. Besides rich men and women who were at Taj, many employees (many may just be the sole breadwinner for his or her family) have been killed. The city is on high alert and Army has been called in.

 

Mumbai meri jaan is bleeding. What can I do about it? Where are we safe in this world? The terrorists attacked upmarket places in our financial capital clearly sending messages that they want India to be known as a terror hub. This is seriously going to affect the tourist flow to our country. The strikes planned in late November would mean most tourists planning to come to India for New Year’s cancel their plans. Now travel advisory’s would be issued once again and we the already dipping economy would dip further.

 

At least 100 people and more than 300 have been injured. Even as I write this, over 100 people have been held hostage in the Taj Hotel. The Army, BSF and ATS are trying to rescue people. We are told that at least five to seven terrorists are still in the hotel. I pray to God that our armed forces emerge victorious.

 

We are all anguished at our helplessness. The rage and fear is apparent. A colleague of mine says why politicians escape terror attacks? Why did the strike on Parliament leave people harmless? The next attack on parliament should kill some of these rogue politicians who are good for nothing.

 

Sorry for this haphazard post. As I write this, I send out a silent prayer for keeping my near and dear one’s safe. But for how long? Maybe it’s just a matter of chance and maybe chance won’t be there the next time.

 

Isn’t it ironic?

Yesterday, I attended my nephew’s annual parent’s day function. The day had begun on a somber note and we all went to cheer him for he had a tiny role in a play. The evening began with all of us being asked to observe two minute silence for the Mumbai terror victims.

 

There was a beautiful play towards the end of the day. It spoke of youth being lured to terrorism. A young man is hunting for a job. The first company rejects him as they only take locals. The second company ahs only reserved seats under the quota system. In the third company nepotism ruled. He is left dejected. A militant outfit lures him into their trap. He is sent on his first mission to plant bombs in the city. There is mayhem everywhere and the young guy realizes what he has lost in the bargain. They showed snippets of Godhra, Bombay train blasts, and other tragic terror attacks. The dance drama ends with an appeal to the youth not to fall prey to easy money and let communal violence be shunned. I was left numb, shivering and sobbing/.

 

Isn’t it ironic? This was a play that the school prepared a month in advance. It was shown on a day when we were hit by the worst terror attack that we have ever seen since 9/11. A terror attack that saw youngsters taking the city to ransom. What could be more ironic than this?

 

My eyes are not supporting me any more, for a watery haze had blurred my vision.

 

I am speechless. No words of comfort can soothe me now….

 

When will this get over? Has anyone got any answers?

Of lipsticks and dogs

There are politicians and then there are more politicians. They all suffer from the foot in the mouth disease. The Mumbai terror attack has just brought forth many of them in the limelight, all for the wrong reasons. First the ex deputy CM of Maharashtra says that “such small incidents do happen in big cities. This is no matter of intelligence failure”. Hallellujah!!!! God save me, I just want to ask what would a big disaster have meant for him?

Then there was the ex-CM of Maharashtra who promoted terror tourism by inviting his filmstar son and a director while going to Taj to check the carnage. Wow!!! Maybe the director would now cast his son as an NSG commando or something in his next movie that may be on the terror strikes. The CM, sorry ex-CM, had the audacity to say that he hadn’t taken any terrorists along. Thanks, Mr Deshmukh for showing this consideration.

Then we have our Kerala CM who went to visit Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan’s house to offer condolences. He was shown the door by the upset father and the poor CM couldn’t digest it. The CM, Achuttanthan went on record to say that had it not been for Major Unnikraishnan, not even a dog would have glanced at their house. Grow up man, only a dog can comment like this.

The latest is BJP vice President Mukhtar ’some’ Naqvi saying that women who protest on streets wearing lipstick and powders are influenced by the West. Wow, at least they are the way they are, not hypocrites like you who is a black sheep dressed in white. naqvi, does your wife remove lipstick to seem real when she is upset? Well, we don’t do that for we are not acting.

I just have one question for these politicians. How many of you send your sons and daughters to join the armed forces or join an NGO for social causes? Speak only when you understand what suffering is…………..till then silence should be your best weapon.

Marriage: Surviving, did you say?

Yeah, that’s what many say.

A colleague of mine recently asked: “Is marriage worth it?” This 28-year-old woman is “beyond marriageable age” by our societal standards. She faces the pressure of getting married from all quarters. Though she does want to get married but “where are the good men?” is her common refrain.

 Well I gave her my two cents regarding marriage. Yes marriage is not anymore about digging into a blueberry cheesecake at Big Chill’s and shopping at Anokhi. Marriage is no longer about long drives on NH 8 or landing at a multiplex every Friday. Marriage is also not about gifting ipods, coll cell phones or hitting the latest discs. These do not go amiss when you get married but they do take a backseat as more pressing issues introduces itself to you.

 

1.   Bills, bills, and more bills. They become important once you are married. You have to curtail them, keep a track of your expenses and ensure that the late fee is no longer cut.

2.   Maid and household chores. Managing your home is fun but not the haggling with the maid over an unclean utensil.

3.   Relatives. They suddenly resurface and expect you to pay heed to social obligations with outmost sincerity.

4.   Off days mean you spend time with the family.

5.   Girlie nights and trips is a luxury that you yearn for.

 So, I told this colleague how relationships change once you get married. According to me marriage is a beautiful relationship which brings forth all aspect of your personality. It allows you to identify your potential. The boat may rock but marriage is surely rocking!

 

As Paul Tournier rightly put it, “That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.”

 

 

Behki, Behki…..

Oh-la-la, that’s Aamir Khan for me. Yes, even at 43, he does not need to do a John Abraham la Dostana to make my heart skip a beat. He is suave, sassy and oh so droolicious!!!

 

I watched Ghajini late last night. My jaw dropped everytime the actor was on screen and am sure the floor below my feet was all wet, so much was the drooling. Serve me Aamir any day and I can die peacefully without having anymore desserts.

 

Aamir as the love-struck corporate honcho Sanjay Singhania oozes charisma that would want you to snuggle up to him. To say he is an actor par excellence is an understatement. He is THE actor cum star who gives us impressive performances movie after movie.

 

Ghajini is an out and out Bollywood masala flick, something which we have stopped expecting from Aamir Khan. But with Ghajini he has just proved that what SRK or Akshay can do, he can do even better. Show me a movie where the actor has done overacting and I will show you a ‘Badshah Khan’ who can act.

 

I don’t know why we compare, but the repeated “I am the best” rhetoric makes me wonder why do you have to shout your lungs out to prove you are best. Just act, guys…. Don’t shout.

 

Aamir wins hands down as the best star actor in modern cinema. Here raising a toast to this wonderful actor who makes me fall in love with him in Ghajini, once again. Sorry husb but infidelity is accepted in this case. Kya karein, Dil Hain Ki Manta Nahin!!!!!

The Year that was….

I started the year by remaining awake. But I couldn’t catch the sunrise owing to a very foggy winter morning in Delhi. Being awake, chatting with cousins was the best way to celebrate the New year’s eve. Aah, how it refreshes the soul, no-bar-holds conversation with your loved ones. WHat started as a game of Truth or Dare became a game of Truth only as nobody wanted to take the Dare option yet everyone dared to bare it all. WOW, thanks guys for making it a special year….

It was a year of mixed bags. It was a year where we saw the worst ever terrorist attacks, a year where history was created when Obama became the prseident of the United States, a year where the stock market started with a 20K heading to cross the 25 mark but ended by at 8K, it was also a year when people like Raj Thackarey wanted Marathi manoos in Mumbai but ended up going into hiding when his services were required. It was also a year where many bomb blasts rocked the nation but a year when the youth of the nation came out in strong numbers to vote.

On a personal note, it was a year when my daughter took her first steps, spoke her first sentences and we celebrated her first birthday. The waistline expanded and the waste ended up in our collective tummy (me and hubs). It was a year when I changed my job and had a fresh lease of life. It was a year when many new friendships was cultivated and the fruits of labour are yet to be cherished.

It was a year where holidays were an enjoyment for Miss Little Sunshine made an entry into the official list. The baggage to be carried around doubled and so did the chores, yet all were done with a smile.

And my goals for the year………..hmmmmmmmmm…….maybe another post on it.

here’s wishing everyone a Happy New year, a year filled with new hopes, good health and better finances.

The Year That is

I like New Year. It brings with it a lot of things. Winter finally sets in and we see misty mornings and foggy evenings. We drown down endless cups of cuppa. The lards of fat are hidden under woolies, which when removed would give any tyre manufacturing unit a run for their money. We love winters for its lazy mornings for you have an excuse to stay in bed for a longer duration. I can put forth umpteen reasons as to why I love winters and the spirit of New Year, a new beginning.

 

The best part that I like about the period is New Year resolutions. Ya, ya, I know what a futile exercise it is to make resolutions and how we very conveniently break it. My resolutions too don’t last as long as the word itself, yet I enjoy making my list of resolutions every year. It gives me new challenges to look forward to that lie ahead of me. It gives me hope that I have 365 days to achieve things. The list gives me a boost as to what all needs to be done while the sun still shines.

 

So hereby I give my random list which I hope I will be able to fulfill this year.

 

1. Weight-y issues: Most concerning thing…. I have to lose the layers of fat that seems to have stubbornly deposited over every inch of my existence. The tyres have found a permanent home and refuse to wear away. I have to lose weight, period. 

2. Learn driving: I have been making this resolution, every year, for the past three years. Less said the better about picking up skills on d road. 

3. Lean a new activity/course/hobby. 

4. Control my temper: Another resolution that I have been making as far as I can remember making resolutions. 

5. Pamper myself: Yes I need to splurge on some beauty treatments. I am already overweight and soon will be over the hill. So better do some service to the neighbourhood beauty clinics.

 Will keep you posted on my success rate. Please wish me luck, guys!!!

Sunshine Lingo

Pucca promeesiee

That’s pucca promise by my Miss Little Sunshine when she aggrees that she will certainly do what is told to her. She, at 19 months, has learnt to speak four to five word sentences, but at times the last two three words get all jumbled up if they happen to be complicated. Her lingo impresses me everyday ( ya it will, I know I am her mom)  and she happens to say words which I have never said.  Where do kids pick up things from? When I end a call, she will ask, phone kat gaya?.

ALso, she is quite stubborn with things and doesn’t understand that same things can be called differently in different languages. So a gaadi can never be a car and phool is never a flower. A cat cannot be a billi and an elephant can’t be a hathi.

She stores a lot many things in her mind so she clearly know whats belongs to her mama and what are other people’s stuff. By looking at a visiting card she will say this is papa’s and by looking at a book she can identify that it is what mama reads. The other day my cousin was wearing the same-coloured floaters that I have and my li’l one kept chasing her saying this is mama’s shoes.

Days with you are all filled with laughter and whenever I hear this song, Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hain Yaaara Main Kya Karu, your face comes in my mind.

 

The shortest maternity leave

A piece of news that caught my attention today morning.

 

Rachida Dati, the French Justice Minister, has not won many friends among women this week, at least, not among right-thinking women. Not only did she return to work five days after having a baby – by Caesarean section – she was characteristically svelte for her Cabinet meeting: dark, manicured nails, spindly black heels, a jacket with leopard-print lining, the works.

The newspaper Le Figaro, ungallantly pointed out that she has a bit of a tummy, but it’s hardly noticeable. Miss Dati has declared that she has no ambitions to be a role model for women. Just as well.

She is a controversial figure. She is believed to be the face of modern woman by many an ideal feminist. She is a single parent who still has not revealed the child’s father’s name and has risen to this rank from a poverty-ridden childhood. Whatever she has done is admirable. But till to that point.

 

Just taking a five-day maternity leave, instead of the official four-month leave given by France, Dati has set an example. She is back to work after a C-sec and is strutting around in her stilettos while waving her perfectly manicured hand. She is indeed to be lauded for her antics. I too had a c-sec and am still wondering how she managed to join work after 5-days of her surgery?

 

No, I am not being in awe of her physical stamina or grit. But, yes, I am thinking what kind of a woman it is to leave her five-day-old kid to join work? Three days must have been bed rest and the next two days would have been spent in personal grooming. It was indeed not dire circumstances which made her choose to abandon (yes, I say ABANDON) her child to the care of a nanny who will be putting a bottle every two hours. A baby, who doesn’t have a father by his side, is now deprived of motherly love too.

 

Do such women ever give it a thought what happens to the kid. You brought the child into this world you bloody well take care of him. Every child gets raised in a different manner, but, please don’t rob them of the absolute essentials of life. Please don’t give birth to a child if you can’t take care of the baby the way it should be. Please don’t, for babies are to cherished and loved, not delivered and left.

Sunshine Lingo- II

Kya Mast Hai………and I am flabbergasted. 

 

Yes, that’s what my 20-month-old daughter said when she saw me trying a pair of trousers. Now, I am not sure whether my ear got it wrong or she actually said it but my brother who overheard her, too thought the same.

 

God, where am I heading? We both repeated the word mast and asked her what she was saying and she again said, “Kya Mast Hai.” So much for our polished and refined speaking in front of her!!!! From where the hell did she pick up the phrase????? I have no clue. I am left flummoxed at her comment at the appropriate moment though I am absolutely sure that she doesn’t understand the meaning or the context in which she used that phrase.

 

She also says “Oye Teri” when she is overwhelmingly excited. Now I know this is something that I say often but now she has also picked that phrase making me the subject of social embarrassment (that’s what the hubs says, though I find it very cool). The girl is becoming a big nautanki, Oops, there I go again……… I have to watch out my tongue!!!!

A 20-month update

At 20 months, the Sunshine prances around the house keeping herself occupied. AT times she is busy feeding her gudiya, giving her a massage or cooking for her. Then there are times when the bookworm in her makes resurgence and she is glued to her book for a pretty long time. She doesn’t love me reading out to her and likes to explore her books on her own. We have got her basic colour books and the girl somewhat identifies two-three colours at times. She has also started dabbling with crayons preparing her own modern art.

 

She has started going up the stairs all by herself and hates any help. Her yells can wake a dead man from his grave, the girl screams like hell. God, if I go deaf soon, you know whom to blame. Her favourite activity is throwing things up and high and she marvels at their falling. Gravity amuses her to no end.

 

Her poem repertory includes Johnny, Johnny, Twinkle, Twinkle and a Hindi poem. Counting she has mastered till 10 and alphabets we are still stuck at F because after that the girlie just says Aiyo. Her eating habits have improved and she loves to eat whatever we are having. Her favourites remain milk, soup, grapes and roti/ parantha (yes, in the same order).

 

She speaks almost at ease in Hindi. Malyalam and English she understands pretty well. She doesn’t say much in English except for the customary wishes and some proper nouns.

 

Though the post is three days overdue, nevertheless, A very happy 20^th month B’day my Miss Little Sunshine.

My First Award/s

My first award

My second award

My first award

I have recieved my first award in the blogosphere. Hurray!!! And I am thrilled to bits. Thanks Sahaja for this wonderful award.

Let me also do the honours, the first time I am giving awards to people in the blogosphere. I would like to pass the award to Chandni, Sahaja and IHM

Edited to Add: I saw the second award later, so let me update that as well. I would like to pass on the Lovely Blogger Award to Tharini, MM and Mona

Where are our leaders?

I am taking this logo posted by several other fellow bloggers to talk about the state of politics in our land. Will we ever have an Obama-moment in our country?

We take pride in our democracy. It’s quite a different matter that half the town won’t bother much about Republic day or Independence Day. They won’t wish anyone on these days and cellular networks are not jammed. Then we have politicians like Shibu Soren, Narendra Modi, Raj Thackeray, Mayawati, Jayalalitha, Amar Singh, and many more who have done more harm to the country than provide us with good governance.

Is it so difficult to be honest while occupying the top posts? Why are all politicians looked in a bad light and we rarely have any names to recollect while taking pride in our vibrant nation. Politics is the easiest route for any goonda to find a prospering career. It is a career that has been fledged by goons, crooks and their middlemen. Does it make any difference to me if a Modi of the Godhra fame becomes a PM instead of Mayawati of the Taj corridor fame? Does it make any change in the state of affairs?

I know I am being cynical and it is very easy to say that be the change you want to change. In behest, let me ask all my fellow bloggers to stop voting for criminals, even if they portray Gandhigiri in reel life. How much Gandhisim they show in real life is quite evident when they make regressive statements.

Then we have our self-appointed moral guards who have taken it upon themselves to maintain the tradition of the society. That it’s a different matter that a jeans and top cover more of your body than a midriff baring and cleavage showing saree-attire. But then these hooligans think that wearing a saree and sipping coconut water is my claim to being a true India.

I hope some day, one day, we will have an honest leader who will bring the change that we all want to see but so afraid to be.

The Big Brother is watching

Statutory warning for Women: Wearing Western clothes and going to a pub can be injurious to your health. Not only will you pushed around but your brother would also be assaulting your modesty in the name of restoring Indian values.

Yes, the big brother is watching and you better behave. For neither are you allowed to dress in modern wear nor are you allowed the liberty of choice. You have no freedom to make your own choices as the custodians of your morality are doing the job for you. There is a new Sena out there, who insist that they are just like brothers, trying to protect their sisters from bad influences. We are honoured God, for sending this modern Vanar Sena for had it not been for them, we the dimwits, wouldn’t have known how to dress, where to go and what to drink. That our Goddess Kali drinks blood and we dimwits only have a few vodka shots is abhorred by our brothers in the Sena. Earlier we had just one Sena, now we have two more to protect us. Blessed are the women of the land who have men who will assault them to teach them about values and culture. Ram Sena, Shiv Sena or Navnirman Sena… they are all ready for us. Let us send them to the border so that the real sena can get a break. I must stop here, for the Big Brother will watch what I am writing.

Last heard, this particular Sena is threatening to call a Bandh if their leader is not released from jail. Won’t it be better to ban you guys than tolerate your nonsense, you good for nothing MCPs alias perverts alias creepy crawlies.

Freedom of Speech

My fellow bloggers, please tell me what is blogging all about?

Where to draw a line when criticizing someone? Do I have a right to my opinion. I am flabbergasted. A fellow blogger had to withdraw his post on “Shoddy Journalism” coz he dared to defame NDTV and Barkha. NDTV asked him to render a public apology on his post, which he has done, and he has also removed his post against Barkha. How can they sue him? What about his rights?

Please check about it here: ckunte

A related post: Elekhni

Also, I urge popular bloggers to put it on their blogs and let’s start a movement. Going by this, we would not be allowed to air our views.

I believe Barkha should check the Facebook group against her which has thousands of members. Being a journalist myself, I respect my profession and the ethics that we follow while reporting a story.

The first dream

It was the first dream that Sunshine had, or at least the first one that she shared with us. She woke up on Saturday, Jan 31, crying and saying “doggy kata”. she even showed us the spot on her stomach where a dog has supposedly bitten her. Then we had to make her understand that it was probably a dream, albeit a nightmare, and she was pacified. Though she doesnt understand what a dream is but I guess at least she knew that there was nothing to cry about.

Dreams, my MLS, there will be many for you in the coming days. And there may be a few where you will wake up calling for us, just the way you did other day. Dear, we would be there, your daddy and momma, so that you find your strength and move on. I wonder what your dreams would be when you are a 20-year-old little girl… though at 20 months it was about a dog.

Sunshine Lingo- III

Miss Little Sunshine: Mama, soup peena hai

Me: Ok, Sunshine.

Miss Little Sunshine: Soup bana do

Well, this is the first time that Sunshine has asked me to cook something for her. Though she expresses her need to eat something or drink milk, she has never asked me to cook for her, until yesterday.

————————————-

Mama is hurriedly getting ready for work, picks up a kurta from the wardrobe

Miss Little Sunshine: Yeh, pehnana hai?

Me: yes, baby.

Miss Little Sunshine: Ahaa, shoondar ( ahaa, how pretty)

Mama: I am shoondar/pretty?

Miss Little Sunshine: Nods her head in negative and points towards the kurta.

I swallow my words and turn towards the mirror.

—————
The first favourite song of MLS is Massakali from Delhi 6. She does a great thumka and some twisting when massakali is played.

Y’day suddenly some Himesh song (he of the nasal fame) blurts out of the FM. MLS says “Uncle ro raha hai” (uncle is crying). Now if only the uncle understood what a 20-month-old could already gauge and stopped this atyachaar on us.

Pink is the colour of the season

Let’s take the campaign forward. I am a proud member of the A Consortium of Pub-going, Loose and Forward Women and would like all of you, male or female, alcoholics or teetotalers, to visit a pub on Valentine’s Day and raise a toast to our freedom of choice. At the cost of being repetitive, let me say, it is not about going to a pub but about asserting our rights. No one and his grandfather in this world has the right to tell me or any women what to do, especially in matters of tradition.
Alright people, to take the pink chaddi campaign forward, here’s some more info:
In Delhi, send your pink chaddis (buy, borrow or steal) to:
Nisha Susan
C/o Tehelka
M76, M-Block Market
Greater Kailash 2
Last date for collection in Delhi is 11th Feb

In Bangalore:
The Pink Chaddi Campaign,
C/O Alternate Law Forum,
122/4 Infantry Road (opposite Infantry Wedding House)
Bangalore 560001
Karnataka

Contact persons:
Nithin (9886081269)
Divya (9845535406)
Nisha (9811893733)

Make a noise and let them have the chaddis to remind them of their frivolous pursuits.
Read more about it

http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/

One of the ram Sena guys on hearing about this campaign commented as to “what families these women belong to”. I wonder what families these men belong to who don’t know that if they were to go by their tradition then women are to be worshipped like ‘devis’ and not to be thrashed around.

A 21-month-update

Whoop, my Miss Little Sunshine (MLS) would be two years in three months time. I would soon stop counting the months. But till then, let me enjoy myself by recording every breath she takes, every move she makes….

At 21 months, she now speaks clearly and has mastered the art of replying too. She can count till 10, say her alphabets and knows four rhymes. But she doesn’t say anything in its entirety, for we have to initate ABCD then she will say EFGH and so on.

Her keen observational skills leave us flummoxed more often than not. Today, when her mamu (my brother) woke up she asked “chai peena hai?” (You want to have tea?). She knows that the moment he opens his eyes he needs to have his cup of tea.

The girl is quite particular about everyone’s likes and dislikes, belongings and mannerisms. She knows who will say what to her. She knows that she can twiddle us around her thumb when she is with her dadu (grandpa). She knows when to shed her crocodile tears and how to cuddle up to me when I am cross with her.

She now talks on phone with people and would reply to what is being asked. But her attention span on phone is not more than two minutes. Food and MLS are not the best of friends and she is quite temperamental. If she loves khichri one day then it may be paranthas the other day. She still hasn’t taken to eating non-veg (despite having a mom who will leave the bone only when they turn to shards in her mouth) and chocolates still aren’t a favourite (Haven’t ever bought one for her and whatever we usually get is devoured by this oversized mom who fears of shedding even an ounce of her weight!!!!).

She has started miming me, whatever I say she keeps repeating those words. But when I say, “Oh My God, main dookhi hoon (I am tired of you), she would say “Aap dookhi nai ho” (No, you are not). She has now mastered the art of conversation and is becoming quite a chatterbox.

She loves all the advertisements on television. Though we rarely watch TV with her but she gets an overdose of TV whenever she is with her grandparents (sigh!!!). She is fully potty trained and semi pee-trained.

Books and pens are her favourite companions. Give her a pen and she can tattoo her legs and arms and proudly display her ‘drawing’. She loves her books to the point that she has even managed to tear off a hardbound page of an alphabet book Whosoever made those books specifically for kids so that they don’t tear them off hasn’t met brats like her.

Happy 21st B’day Miss Little Sunshine. Let the sunshine spread its warmth and glow into everybody’s lives.

BBc, please don’t understimate us

This is a tag that I have picked up from Facebook and I thought would do a post as well. According to the BCC most people would have just read 6 books from the following list of 100. I think the BCC clearly understimates our reading abilities. Now if only BBC knew about it.

Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

Everyone, who so ever reads this post, is free to pick up this tag.
Instructions:
1) Look at the list and put an ‘x’ after those you have read.
2) Add a ‘+’ to the ones you LOVE.
3) Star (*) those you plan on reading – I didn’t do this.
4) Tally your total. (Mine is 32 excluding the ones I plan to read — So where does BBC stand:-))

1 Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen x+++++
2 The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien x+++++
3 Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte *
4 Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee x+++++
6 The Bible x++
7 Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte x ++
8 Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials – Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
11 Little Women – Louisa M Alcott *
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 – Joseph Heller *
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare *
15 Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurierx
16 The Hobbit – JRR Tolkien x ++
17 Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye – JD Salinger x+
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch – George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell x++++
22 The Great Gatsby – F Scott Fitzgerald *
23 Bleak House – Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy x
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams *
26 Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll x++
30 The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy *
32 David Copperfield – Charles Dickens x ++
33 Chronicles of Narnia – CS Lewis x ++
34 Emma – Jane Austen x+
35 Persuasion – Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini x+++++
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden *
40 Winnie the Pooh – AA Milne
41 Animal Farm – George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown x ++++
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez x ++
44 A Prayer for Owen Meany – John Irving
45 The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables – LM Montgomery *
47 Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy x++
48 The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies – William Golding
50 Atonement – Ian McEwan*
51 Life of Pi – Yann Martel x+++++
52 Dune – Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth x+++++
56 The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens x+++
58 Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon x++++
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez x+++
61 Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
62 Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov *
63 The Secret History – Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road – Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary – Helen Fielding x ++
69 Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie *
70 Moby Dick – Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens x+
72 Dracula – Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses – James Joyce *
76 The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal – Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray x
80 Possession – AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple – Alice Walker x ++
84 The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro *
85 Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry x+++
87 Charlotte’s Web – EB White *
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Alborn x++
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle x+
90 The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton x++
91 Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad *
92 The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
94 Watership Down – Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas x
98 Hamlet – William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl x +
100 Les Miserables – Victor Hugo *

Sunshine Lingo- IV

Chaap ut, says Miss Little Sunshine

And the hubs and I are silenced!!!

Well, we were driving to a friend’s place on Saturday and were having our usual inane argument over something. MLS, in my lap, noted our heated argument and just said “Chaap ut”, which in the Sunshine land means “Shut up”.

So, we the parents took cue and behaved ourselves.

We often say shut up to each other when we are having an argument but we never realised when our 21-month–old daughter picked it up. So much so that she knew exactly when to use the phrase, not considering the fact that she still can’t pronounce the word correctly.

Invaluable Lessons

The Miss Little Sunshine is asking for a spoon. mama, absentmindedly, hands over a spoon to her from the utensils rack.
MLS says: Isko dho do (wash it, please). yeah, yeah mama taught you all about cleanliness and forgot it while bringing you up.

MLS is having a runny nose. mamma tries to make her blow on a big towel instead of a hankerchief.
MLS says: Nooooooooooooo. mera hanky lao {get my hanky, please}

Sorry MLS, mama always tries to be easy going than be prim and proper.

Maid dilemmas

I guess finding a maid in Delhi is as difficult as making Miss Little Sunshine (MLS) finish her complete meal. Both are impossible tasks, both require oodles of patience and time, both demand ferocious energy to deal with the eventual outcomes and both leave you exasperated and gasping for breath.

I was oblivious to the world of stay-at-home maids till the time I got pregnant. That’s when my MIL, who stays close-by, informed me that if I intend to leave MLS behind for work then I better keep a maid at home. i was alos informed about the difficulties of finding one and how I should start searching the moment I got pregnant. I didn’t pay any heed to her advice as the thought of a third adult in our cosy home was too much to swallow. Being a two bedroom apartment, I felt we would hardly have any privacy left. But like all things that come attached with the pregnancy the maid issue was dealt with quite serioslu, especially by my MIL, who spread the word far and around that I need a stay at home maid. Her logic with the part-timers being they would skip work, never be on time and would not be there late at night. Eventually, I got one when I was just 6 months pregnant and my MIL bounced on her as if she is a precious gem to be treasured and kept away from all prying eyes of our neighbours. Thankfully, she turned out to be a nice girl who looked after MLS till she was seven months old. Before leaving for work, I used to drop my maid and MLS at my parents-in-law’s place and used to pick them up in the evening. Everything was smooth till she declared she was going back home. All hell broke loose as we started our maid hunt again.

A series of girls/women/ came and went away, if I think correctly at least 8 people left before I finally got a lady who took care of MLS. I paid a huge amount of commission to the agency guy’s to get maids. I lost some money, a digicam and couple of knick-knacks with every maid gone wrong. Now these agency’s that run maid services are neither registered nor take any onus of sending a trained maid. They lie blatantly and usually try to make a fool of us. So after a series of misses, I got the right lady who looked after MLS till the last month.

Now she has gone to her hometown, promising me to return in 3 months. I have kept a new maid, again after paying a huge commission to the agency, and she is driving me nuts. MLS doesnt go to her and she has no clue how to make tea or even cut veggies. My in-laws too are tired of making her learn things. Why do these women come to work if they don’t want to? Why do they drive us against the wall all the time? My maid hunt continues……….I wonder how other working moms are dealing with the maid dilemmas.

A 22-month update

A belated post, a belated happy Birthday My Miss Little Sunshine. What to do mama has been so busy the past two weeks that March 18 was thought about and remembered but not blogged about. You have turned 22-month-old now and it’s just one more month before this entire monthly celebrations/salutations would get over.

MLS, you are growing too fast and too quick. Did I tell you that you can’t be tricked anymore? The other day I obstructed the car door with my foot so that you don’t close it, you spent 5 minutes figuring out what has gone wrong, looked everywhere on the door for possible obstructions and spotted my foot and asked me to remove it. I never knew my munchkin has grown this big.

Did I tell you that now you’re a favourite of lot of bhaiyas and in the society whom we have got to know through you dearest You refuse to sit indoors, has to play in the park all the time and will walk away with any stranger just to be in the outdoors. Nothing fascinates you more than being footloose. You are not scared and would confidently walk away alone also, leaving mama behind with a deep heart.

Did I tell you that you always say that you are a papa’s daughter and when I make a sad face you say, “ok, I am yours too”. You effortlessly sing your poems but the moment mama comes to teach you its not interesting anymore for you.

Did I tell you that your demons too come out quite freely. When you shout and cream, yell and cry and stump your feet. And if mama really gets cross then you get emotional further and would like to make up to me. You will promise me that you will never repeat this behaviour only to throw a fit the moment you have finished saying so  But mama loves all of this and is enjoying a wonderful phase in life.

Did I tell you that you complete me in all aspects and never have I felt God so close as looking at your angelic face.

God Bless, Amen!

Personality Type

hey, I took this quiz at www.mypersonality.info and found the results quite intriguing. The result reads as follows:

ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs.

ESTJs thrive on order and continuity. Being extraverted, their focus involves organization of people, which translates into supervision. While ENTJs enjoy organizing and mobilizing people according to their own theories and tactically based agendas, ESTJs are content to enforce “the rules,” often dictated by tradition or handed down from a higher authority.”

ESTJs prefer occupations that require an organized, logical, and practical bent that incorporates an effective use of time and resources. They pay attention to the organization’s hierarchy and use policies and procedures to help them to move the tasks along. They like making decisions and dealing with concrete, specific facts.

“responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident”
“…go by experience and that is what counts, not speculation and experimentation, and certainly not fantasy. They keep their feet firmly on the ground and make sure that those under their supervision do the same…”

I am hungry, mama

Yes, that Miss Little Sunshine asked for food on March 29 for the first time is indeed a milestone. Yes she said, “Mama mujhe bhook lagi hai, chawal de do” before dinner time and said “mujhe roti de do” during lunch. Oh, all in one day.

Isn’t it wonderful when you get to know when your child is hungry? It marks a major milestone in my life that my 22-month-old is able to ask me for lunch and dinner. Till now, she has always asked for milk and asked for sundry things like biscuit or a fruit. Never has she demanded a proper meal during lunch or dinner. How I felt contented after feeding her yesterday.

I may sound silly but I can’t stop raving about the incident. For a mother these are small milestones when her child tells her that she is ready to leave the lap. Her first word at 5 months was papa, she first started crawling by 7 months, and she stood on her own by 8 months and started walking on her own when she about a little over 11 months. She left her feeds when she was 15 months and was potty trained by 18 months. Like all the milestones, saying “I am hungry” was an important milestone.

Of this and that

This 22-month-old lil baby of mine has suddenly grown big. She is now the leader of a group of kids, aged between 9 to 16, who go round for evening walks in the society where we stay. Miss Little Sunshine has loads of friends and is a favourite with her Manu Bhaiya, Swaati didi, monini didi (mohini), iman bhaiya (Himang) and shuti didi (shruti). They take her to the park and play bat-ball with her. She can’t get enough of them and neither are they tired of dancing to her tunes. Thanks to MLS, we now know a lot of our neighbours.

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MLS: “Where are you going, mama?

Me: Office

MLS: Mujhe naai leke jaa rahe?

Me: Aap chotta baby ho

At this she points to her five-month old picture on the wall and says :WOh Chotta baby hai.” I am big, i can go to office.

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MLS wanted to know where the uncle ( a Kathakali mask that hangs on one of our walls) pees? I am speechless.

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MLS is a big chatterbox, calls out to everyone and wants to be the centre of attention. She simply loves the park or playing outside. Making her sit inside the house is a task in itself.

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She loves soup, juice and ice-cream. She is not very fond of non-veg and dislikes paneer as well. God, what will I do? every night she asks for an ice-cream and soup or juice every evening.

A 23-month post

Let me celebrate your 23-month-old existence by a belated happy birthday post. ya, you turned 23 (month) on April 18 and mama, says this with a heavy heart that this is the last time you would be addressed as **-month-baby. I take pride in your growth but at the same time a little birdie inside me weeps, for soon you will fly away from the nest.

1. Would you still continue to kiss us on cheeks, then nose, followed by eyes, ears and head when you turn 23 years? Yes, that’s how you express your love not only to us but to anybody you take a fancy on.

2. Would you hug me tightly when you are 23 and utter, “mama MLS ko chod ke kahaan jaa rahe ho?”

3. At 23, would you still allow me to feed you and make me run amok the entire house?

4. Would you still remain your papa’s daughter and tease mama showing your tongue?

5. Would your breath still make me feel lost for words and offer a silent prayer to Almighty for sending this angel to our house?

My lil MLS, you have many more milestones to cross. Mama may sport a lot more grey hairs when you turn 23, but these are the few things, that will always make me want to hit the time machine.

PS: As far as your milestones go you are ready to join a school (you have been since you turned 1.8 years), can correctly put your sandles, is able to wear your pyjamas properly and expresses your likes and dislikes quite strongly. You have started identifying a few serials on TV (Roadies, Mr Bean) and knows how to bargain as well.

Mama’s first tag

Hey MLS, this is mama’s first tag and what better than motherhood as a subject to write on. The very lovable, GoofyMama, has tagged me to write the five high points in motherhood. Well, it’s unfair to summarise in five points yet the crunchier the better for you to read MLS. Am sure you would be hard-pressed for time when you would be reading mama’s blog.

Five Things I love being about mother

1. Motherhood gave me you, my bundle of joy. I just love your smile and shiny eyes. The content look on your face is unmatchable to any joy in this world.

2. The way you snuggle up to me and bury your cute face on my nape. The way you fiddle with my ears, hold me tightly and kiss me goodbye, your unconditional love simply melts my heart beyond words.

3. Due to motherhood, I can take pride in the fact that I owned you first, I was the one who first felt you and for 9 months you were solely mine.

4. Motherhood taught me the virtues of patience, caring and courage. Three qualities I discover everyday making me push myself beyond my limits to reach out.

5. I take pride in motherhood for I do not worry about my jelly-like tummy or stretch marks, for without them I wouldn’t have got the most beautiful child in this world.

Since I am not avidly read by many, I do not tag anyone. However any mommy reading this is free to post a comment on motherhood or take up the tag.

Thanks GM once again for this beautiful tag.

Can’t get enough of her

Yes, the hubs can’t get enough of Miss Little Sunshine. Today morning we hurridely packed her bags and dropped her at her naani’s place, a few kilometres from my place. We wanted her to spend Saturday, Sunday and Monday with her at her grandma’s place. After we head to our offices, I get a call from husb.

Me: Hi honey, what plans of evening, now that we are alone…

Husb: Can we go and meet MLS.

Me: OK, what if she cries to come along?

Husb: We will get her back and then maybe… maybe drop her back on Sunday.

Me: Hmmmmmmm

Husb: Please can i be with her?

Me: OK (With a wide grin on face).

We think on the same track. After dropping her, I was wondering what we will do the entire evening. Ahem, was there ever a life before MLS happened? What did we used to do on weekends then?

*Sigh* I guess we both can’t get enough of her though she is happy to be anywhere than her own house …. Such is life dearies.

Invaluable Lessons – II

Miss Little Sunshine never fails to teach us valuable lessons. We may try to instill good manners in her but when we falter she quickly reprimands us.

The other day we were traveling to the market place, just a few minutes away from home. SO both of us didn’t bother to put the seat belt and MLS was quick to remind us “ seat belt dalo, police pakad lega”. Ahem!!!

The other day I asked hubs to pass me my cellphone. He just threw it on to the bed where I was reading a book. Quickly MLS said, “Cell nahin pheko, toot jayega”.

While in the car, her seven-year-old cousin tried to throw a piece of paper on the road. The lady was quick to remind him, “Bahar paper mat pheko, dustbin main dalo.”

And while going to bed, after saying goodnight, I forgot something essential. She was quick to say, “God Bless bolo”.

God Bless you, my Miss Little Sunshine. Without you the days would be drab and nights would be uninterrupted sleep (which I do not like anymore )

I, Me and Myself

This is a tag that i have lifted upon on my own. After reading about it at Parul and then later at Kiran’s and Chandni’s blog, I thought I too had to pick this up. This talks about five things tht you love about yourself. Since we often spend a lifetime figuring out why we love someone, I have never really thought what I love about myself. This tag gave me an opportunity to explore the true me and find out what lies beneath.

1. Honesty: I take pride in the fact that I have rarely lied in my life. I haven’t ever been able to carry off a lie with elan. No matter how much I like to hide things, if confronted, I would sing lime a canary. Perhaps the reason why mom knew all about my dates and still have never really taken a medical leave without actually falling sick.

2. Genorosity: I do not like so much to write about this but I believe we all should be generous. We should lend a helping hand whenever and wherever possible. You have a blessed lifge, someone else doesn’t so why not share it with others. I always think about this quote: I always looked down upon my ragged shoes till the time I saw a man with no feet.

3. Friendships: I love my friends and being a true blue Leo I am loyal till my last breath. I cherish my friendships and would take an extra effort to be in touch and spend some memorable time with my friends. Unlike many people I know, I love the fact that my ability to keep alive long-lost friendships, is an admirable thing about me.

4. Non-fussy: I a a very adaptable person who adjusts to the situations. I like people who are not fussy in life. Make the most of life and not spend time cribbing about things that can;t be changed.

5. Self-confidence: I think I am a confident person who believes that she can strive in any difficult situation. I am a die-hard optimist who believes that there is a rainbow after rain.

What do you like about yourself? Go figure out, coz u hardly do that, people.

A dilemma

I am unsure how to celebrate my Miss Little Sunshine’s birthday. She turns two on Monday and here I am, on a Saturday evening still so indecisive about the way to go about it.

There are so many issues at hand. I want it to be a party where all of us enjoy without getting tired. Now the husb and me had decided to keep it a small party for her freinds (ranging between 7-year-olds to 170year-olds) and then a dinner for the immediate family. But now the family wants it to be an extended affair. Which means I have to invite all the uncles and their grandparents to the party amounting to a guest list of 60 odd people. Gosh, am so confused. Why do kiddie parties have to be such a tedious affair?

Anway, MLS anything for you. I don’t want to offend anyone on your special day. My angel, You are heading towards two but you have already given us a taste of terrible two since the time you hit 22-month.

What more is in store, is to be seen in the coming days.

Happy Birthday Miss Little Sunshine

darling MLS,

This post is 4 days due. Nevertheless, a very happy birthday to you my lovely lady. Turning two on May 18, you are moving away from toddlerhood too fast and too furiously. Someone close to the family passed away on your b’day and mama has still not come out of gloom that surrounds our family these days. May God bless you, honey.

Love
Mama

Nine months and a C-sec

I write this post after a few weeks of frenzied activity. This is a post dedicated to you, my lovely, who in the past two years has dominated our lives and has changed it to the extent that we often wonder whether there was ever a life before you.

The day I learnt I was pregnant, we were ecstatic. For some peculiar reason I had always thought I will have problems conceiving. But it was not the case to be. When we decided on having a baby, you quickly planted yourself in my womb within a few weeks.

There began the endless days of morning sickness. Days when all I have would be a banana or a few spoons of rice. Those were really horrible days. I would wake up pucking and sleep after vomiting my lungs out. I used to travel around with a vomit bag. Your dad used to drop me to work where I would spend a few hours juggling work and endless trips to the loo. Most of the time it would be just bile as I hardly ate anything those days. The joke around the friends’ would be “click yourself for you are never going to be so thin ever again.” Those were frustrating four months which I would spent crying quite often .

Then came the second trimester, the pleasantest of all. It was the time when my vomiting subsided and I started enjoying food. I gobbled down food to compensate for those 3-4 odd months of starvation. Towards the end of this trimester I had started feeling slight movements. The first time you moved inside we both jumped with joy.

The last trimester saw my bump enlarging to a proportion where I thought it would just burst out soon. People asked if was carrying twins? I wondered what your weight would be. I had happily piled on 22 kgs (only 15 lost till now) and looked no less than a rolling football when I walked.

I desperately wanted to have a normal delivery. But as per my doc, your heartbeat had started dropping and you were still quite up. They said a C-sec was the best option to go for. Since I dreaded all kinds of pains, I happily agreed, only to realise later that giving birth to a baby, c-sec or natural, comes with its baggage of pain, bruises and stitches. I couldn’t walk around properly without help for the first five days.

The first time they handed over you to me, I was relieved to see that angelic face and that everything was normal (I used to be paranoid). That was my trophy, the fruit of my womb, who now has a couple of slaves at her disposal.

A Letter to God

Dear God,

I have always wanted to thank you for sending me the most beautiful rose from your lawn. Sadly, I always keep postponing it for either I am too hardpressed for time or I have already written thousands of words as a journo that I have no more energy to pen any further. But allow me to thank you today and let me tell you how the rose bud that you sent me across two years back is doing:

* She is the prettiest of all the roses that I have ever seen in my life. When she calls me lovingly, mamu, my heart melts away. Did you tell her to address me like that to get away from my rage.
* She is naughty to the hilt, she will climb on stools and try to fiddle with the gas knob, turn off television and even tries to balance herself on her cycle. She is adventurous to the hilt never worried about her safety. Did you tell her giving her time out should not deter her from her dangerous pursuits?
* She is the most friendly child in the neighbourhood so much so that everyone is her aunty, uncle, grandparents or bhiya and didi. Was she the talkative most in your lawn?
* She has become quite independent. She can put on her trousers, wear her shoes, combs her hair and eats her food. Were other flowers getting jealous of her?

Thank you God for giving me my Miss Little Sunshine. I never knew how these two years went by. Please give me a little more:

• Strength to carry on with her infectious energy.
• Patience to deal with her eccentricities.
• Courage to say No to her and not to alter my decision.
• Wisdom to guide her through the path of honesty, loyalty, compassion and love.
• Humility to pass down to her.

Did God forget the pause button?

These days my life is a whirlwind of activity. There is hardly any moment spent spare, reflecting on my thoughts or deed. I have never been this busy in my life. I guess iot may be phase, one that will pass, soon.

I have forgotten how it feels to enjoy a nice cup of tea early in the morning.

I cannot recollect when was the last time I sat down and ate my breakfast in peace.

I cannot remember enjoying the metro ride without a book in my hand. Since reading is the most cherished activity, I have dutifully relegated my metro hour to reading. The only time when I get to read anything in peace.

I cannot remember when was it last that I spent more than five minutes in the shower. There have been days when I have skipped applying moisturizer too.

I have stopped coordinating my bags, clothes, shoes and accessories. I don’t even remember the number of earrings I own, or for that matter even the number of shoes or bags. I have never repeated the same set of earrings, shoes or bag for this long.

When did I last watch television? Yeah, when I was in the gym, running on the treadmill and reading the ticker on the news channel.

When I did I last spend five minutes on my hair, filed my nails or removed the chipped nailpaint?

Life’s been on a fast-forward mode for the past so many months that I have forgotten how it feels to hit the pause button.

Lost & Found

Two of my favourite bloggers kiran and Chandni have written about what they have gained and dropped in the past few years. An introspective journey, one that made me want to think deeper and find out what I have lost and gained over these years.

I have lost many fairweather friends who were there till it lasted. Relationships that were meant to stand the test of time withered away while trying to make a career and raise a family.

I have lost my surname. Yes, i dropped my surname as surnames have never mattered to me. One is given by your father and another by your husband. So what difference does it really make to my individuality?

I have lost the fire in my belly to head the rat race. Yes, I had been a career-oriented girl who’s only ambition now is to raise Miss Little Sunshine as a humble human-being.

I have lost ‘love’ and yet has come out finding solace in the arms of someone who lend a shoulder during those days.

I have lost time……..which I could have utilised to read so much more, to travel so much more and to love so much more.

Not all’s lost though…

I have found some wonderful friends who have showed me what life is all about. they may be seven seas apart yet they are my mates who know how to bring a smile on my lips.

I have found blogger friends who make every day so much of a learning experience. My day is not complete without meeting them in the blogsphere. With some the association has moved beyond the blogosphere and I cant be more thankful about it.

I have found what it means to give birth to a child and WHAT IT MEANS to raise a child as a selfless soul.

I have found peace in everything around me.

I have found the zealous attitude for life……..to make each moment so much more worth living…….to cherish everything around me and to thank almighty for his blessings.

Showcase babies

Today morning, while hurriedly getting ready for work, I got a telephone call. The conversation that follows

Lady: Hello, do you have any child below the age of 3?

Me: Yes

Lady: I am calling from XYZ playschool We are having a baby show so please give me the details of your child.

Me: Well, I am not interested in sending my child to any show.

Lady: Why? This is such a ‘grateful’ show where babies can take part.
Me: I didn’t say it is any kind of ungrateful event. I don’t want to send my two-year-old child for any competition.

Lady: Why? Two year old is a big child. We have even 6 month old kids participating.

By then I had lost all my patience. I guess the lady didn’t get my point.

Me: Well, to begin with, I don’t necessarily agree with what you believe in. I don’t see any point in sending my two-year-old to a competition when in a few years time she would be competing for the rest of her life. Also, I don’t agree with the values of your school.

Lady: OK.

I was furious. This a well-advertised playschool whose director doles out parenting tips in newspapers/magazines and the radio. I was wondering what does the six month old infant, who is still struggling to sit without any support, do in a baby show? Does pushing your child to be the centre of attraction at such a young age a great idea? Miss Little Sunshine would be joining a playschool next month and may be taking part in many such activities. But then that would be part of a schooling process, where she would be doing, a gamut of other activities. But a show for babies, just to advertise your playschool further, is just so uncalled for in my opinion. What do you think?

My Little Princess

Miss Little Sunshine is growing too fast too soon. Today morning, I had the realisation when I saw her sprawled on the bed and saw her photgraph which was clicked when she was barely 2 months old hanging on the wall. She is now 2.2 years and soon she would be 22. As the hubs said the other day, I wish time stands still as far as MLS is concerned, we want to savour her childhood more and just dont want to let go of it.

At 26 months she is a chatterbox, yeah even at 16 months she was one. Now she is oh-so-ready to head to the playschool and I just keep postponing the entire thing. I feel once she heads to the school she will soon fly out of the nest. Mama’s lil one would become too worldly wise too soon.

She has started liking TV a lot more (reason for me to dread) and enjoys music channels and her stories. These days I have learnt to distratct her whenever she throws a fit. Often it works for me. I have invented a naughty boy called “billu bhaiyya” for her who is extremely naughty and moral of the tantrum is weaved into a story. I narrate the story effectively fitting it into the current situation and viola she soon forgets her rage.

The one big milestone that I have to cross now is to stop her feeding bottle. She still has milk from her bottle and I really want her to do away with it before we hit playway.

The walls that were once spotless

Yes, Miss Little Sunshine is at work. She has earmarked a few walls in the house to display her artistic skills. The walls that have seen better days, the walls that cringe when she approaches them with her crayons and the walls that talk in hush-hush tones how the mama monster can’t keep a track of the brat. She somehow manages to evade our eyes and spuriously sketch on my till-now pristine-clear walls. So a 3 foot section of the living room wall is a mish mash of colours. So is a portion of the bedroom wall. I wish there was some way to erase all those bouts of creativity.

I wonder how parents of toddlers manage to keep their walls spotlessly clean. How to make a child who is just about 2 years understand what messed-up means?

The hubs seems totally cool about all this though I keep raving and ranting how ugly it all looks. But I guess this little inhouse artist has managed to satiate her creative outbursts.

Playway, no play

Last week we went playschool hunting for her. Yeah, she will turn 2.3 this month and God knows by the time the girl turned 1.6 years, she was ready to hit the turf. But this whole playschool thing has upset me a lot. To begin with she will have to spend two years in playway as she would turn 3 only in May 2010 while March is the deadline for age limit. So we have been told that two years is what she needs to spend in a playway.

So mama, papa and the cub set out playway hunting. We sampled three schools in three hours and were left tired and confused.

Palyway A: The school is a stone’s throwaway from our house. This is the school where MLS’s nephew has also gone. School surveyed, toilets checked, classrooms inspected. The teachers here looked a bit horrified and seemed in no mood to entertain a two year old. The administrator who was taking us around was a sweet lady but that’s about it.

Playway B: It’s an international chain and need we say more. The fee is double and the joining expenses are four times to what we would pay in A. The teachers were friendly but the ball area was not very clean. I twitched my nose and was informed that kids have dumped toffee wrappers just a while ago. Two much focus on being politically correct, is the impression with which I walked out.

Playway C: A friend’s son studies here and it is a leading Indian chain of playway schools. The school provides its own meals, has a small dining table and all kids eat their meals together. The administrator, who refused to smile even to MLS, said in stern voice that they take their kids for many educational tours like visits to ATMs, fire stations, petrol pumps, etc. WTF!!!! Why do two or three year olds have to go to these places???? I asked her whether they take kids to museums, zoo or parks and I was promptly told, “NO, but we do take them to McDonald’s” WOW, need I say more about the school.

Husb says let’s go for B and I say A. As for MLS she wants to go to a big school in a big bus. We are both confused and have now deferred the plan till September.

9/11: Love and Longing

Well, the memories can never fade away. It is day when thousands dies in the US of A and many million hearts were broken. It is a day when two towering towers collapsed even as a flabbergasted world watched in shock and awe. It is a day when words seemed too hollow for the tragedy that affected a nation that never thought terrorism could affect them.

It was also a day when two lonely hearts said ‘I do’, no not at the altar, but as a prelude to the D-day. Eight long years of existence and four years of certified togetherness. The bonus is a two-year-old who was to start playschool today but played the perfect spoilsport. That it’s pouring since two days just added to the toddler’s crankiness.

I love these days. I can’t remember the last time I saw delhi in shades of gray for more than 48 hours. MLS starts playgroup on Monday and so starts the morning madness at our household.

Empty nest syndrome

yes, the first steps towards an empty nest were taken today. Little Miss Sunshine, all of 2.3 went to her playway today. My little girl has already stepped out of the home and mama returned with a heavy heart.

the day started with hectic activity, what with the husb being out of town and yours truly left to get a toddler ready for her first big day. At 9.00 am we were ready to go, with mama showing a strong face though she was crumbling inside. The pickup cab arrived and MLS was duly seated inside and she kept saying “Mama,aap bhi chalo” and she had this puzzled expression on her face while the door of the cab was being shut. It was like a million questions crossed her mind , “where is my mama sending me”? and Mama returned to an empty house that was devoid of the chitter-chatter. And then I cried and cried bucketloads. I don’t understand what is it with being a momma? Are we mothers so weak when it comes to the spawn of our womb? I called my mom and had a heart-on-heart.

decided to work from home as anxious mama would have fainted if she had not seen MLS while returning from school. At 12.45, MLS was duly dropped and she was all smiling and beaming, saying she wants to go to school tommorow. Ahhhhh…..what a relief. So much tears were shed on the girl who came back to tell me she has lots of friends in school, etc.

And soon this lil birdie will fly out of the nest……..

A lovely fwd

This I got as a fwd and I thought I should post it here for you my Miss Little Sunshine. I want you to always remeber that just because you are addressed as the weaker sex doesn’t mean you are weak. The person whom you choose to spend your life with should adore you for what you are and not expect the world from you. Read on.

Tomorrow you may get a working woman, but you should marry her with these facts as well.

Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;

One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;

One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven’t, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements

One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;

One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name

One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment and that kitchen

One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn’t want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that you won’t like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;

One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy, unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;

Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won’t, simply
Because you won’t like it, even though you say otherwise

One, who can be late from work once in a while when deadlines, just like yours, are to be met;

One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important,
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;

One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows in your entire house – your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most importantly – your understanding, or love, if you may call it.

But not many guys understand this……

Please appreciate “HER”

I hope you do.

Missed milestones

Sorry MLS, i have not been very regular with updates. That you have been almost weaned from bottle feed when you started your preschool should have found a mention. For a couple of days you were completely off the bottle but you were hardly drinking any milk. Despite our repeated monkey acts all you could gulp down was half a glass of milk in the entire day. That you are just 2.3 and your bones need all the calcium couldn’t be negated. To top it you had just started school. So mama decided to keep your morning bottle feed intact and the rest of the day you are comfortable having your milk from a glass. Not that you drink milk from a glass with a smile but we have to tell you endless stories to make you gulp down a glass.

On the playgroup front you have fared very well. You cried your lungs out the first three days and mama was almost panicky. She thouhgt that maybe the school thing started a little too early for you and should have waited till you turned 3. But you proved me wrong on the fourth day. Though you threatened me that you will cry you were an angel when your cab arrived. You happily went away but a quizzical expression was still rooted on your face. Now you look forward to going to playschool. Before leaving for school every day you threaten me that you will cry but go away quite happily. When mama asks you what you did in school, your response is usuallly “Pata nahin kya kiya”. Though you tell me that you wished your madam, I wonder how much of it is true.

A lazy mama

Writting this blog is of least priority and so I almost always miss out on updating it. Sorry MLS, forgive mama for being such a procastinator. It seems mama is suffering from blogger’s block.

nevertheless, coming back to updates, you have comfortably settled in you playgroup. So much so that now when it’s a holiday you insist on going to school. And today morning you told me the name of your friends from school– Manchikka and Kabir. Now I don’s whether you have pronounced them correctly but I found it very intriguing that you have already made friends. You have also started singing rhymes that are taught in school and that too with actions. It such a joy to watch you do your own thing.

Also, one of your activities is role play. You love to be my mama, scold me and then console me. When I mock cry, you wrap your tiny arm around my neck, make me lie on your lap and would say “Koi baat nai baby, koi baat nai.”

You are such a pleasure to be with. Today morning while I was getting ready to go to office you said, “Mama I won’t cry, aap jao.” Not that you cry but at times you get cranky. Am surprised to notice that you have become so mature that you what is expected of you. But at times you also drive mama up the wall. But then what is my MLS without her tantrums, foot stomping and yelling.

Notes from Sunshine land

Little Miss Sunshine is growing too fast and too soon. She is such a darling. The playway ahs been doing a lot of good to her. She now wants to go to school everyday, even on a Sunday. I wonder how long it would last.

#Last week, she had her first fancy dress competition. She was dressed as a kite and she recited a poem on ‘patang’ (kite) with cute actions.

#Already her favourite activity is role play. She has mastered the art of being a teacher to the extent she even scolds kids, takes a break to go and drink water and continues her teaching activity. Her She teaches counting 1 to 25 in loud, high-pitched voice along with accompanying clap. Imitating her class teacher.

#Already she has two friends, Kabir and Vanshikha, in school.

#She has mastered her poems with actions, knows counting till 25 but misses 16 and 22.

The week that was…

To say that the past weekend was a roller-coaster ride would be an understatement. We had two weddings to attend, an outstation trip and a deadline not to be missed. To top it, our Miss Little Sunshine was not in the pink of her health.

The week started with me struggling to stick to my deadline, on Wednesday we were to attend the tilak ceremony of a friend. The partying went on till the wee hours of morning only to return next day to office all groggy eyed. Then Thursday was the wedding and thankfully I had managed to stick to my deadline. Since two very close friends were getting married we were supposed to be with them since the word ‘go’.

So we were at the marriage venue for good 12 hours, yes, you read it right. The groom sat on for sehrabandi at around 6 pm on Thursday and on Friday 6am morning the doli finally left for the groom’s place. A bunch of friends, to toddlers, a farmhouse and the season’s coldest day. Poor MLS and the kid had to sleep in the open amidst layers of blankets toppled on them. Between cups of sugary syrup called coffee and angeethi, we cracked jokes and saw how the dulha and dulhan were enduring all this while decked in the shaadi attire.

MLS, sure had fun. She never left the dance floor, grooved with all the hunks and even found a partner. She plonked a kiss on his cheek and in fact, got herself clicked with cute lil boy. The naughty girl is already on a roll.

Then Friday afternoon we reach home and start packing to go to Ahmedabad. Yes, my cousin was getting married on Sunday. The overnight train journey left husb and I running after MLS who was quickly making friends in other berths. Saturday morning we reach an over-crowded house were we barely get any rest. Post Sunday marriage, we have a train to catch at 6pm and we are back in Delhi on Monday morning.

Tired limbs, aching head, cramps, bodyache and an equally tired MLS who slept for 10 hours at a stretch on reaching home.

What a week, it was (phew!!!)

The non-negotiable schedule

How important is it to set a routine for a two-and-a-half year old? Well, I really don’t know. While my Miss Little Sunshine is at her perkiest best at night and not so much of an early riser, sending her to her playway has become a struggle every day. Now, Delhi has woken up to winters and making her wake up even at 8.30am is a task. Then getting her ready for her school is just too much of a pressure cooker waiting to explode. Constantly, I am threatening her that she will miss her van so that she opens her eyes. At the end of it, I am completely stressed out.

Now, it is a task making her go to bed by 10pm which I think is the ideal time for her to sleep. So we all have to be packed for the day as she refuses to sleep if even one of us stays awake. Then, while in bed, she loves reciting her poems. The poor girl is threatened that if she doesn’t shut her mouth and sleep she will not be able to go to school the next day. Now that is something which works coz come hell or high tide, she would not like to miss her school. The poor MLS struggles hard to sleep, settling in different positions so that sleep comes her way.

How do you put a toddler into a schedule? She had almost fallen into a routine when last week we went out of town for a wedding. This made her schedule go completely haywire. How do you make children understand the concept of time? Or is it too much to ask for from a toddler?

An open letter

Dear MLS,

Yoday was you first Parent teacher Meeting. Both hubs and I went for the day, reaching the school well in time and waiting patiently to hear what your antics are. It is a matter of concern to know how badly you behave in school, whether you bully other kids and what would be the teacher’s pet peeves.

But nothing of that sort happened. Your teacher was all praises for you. She said you are the most confident and intelligent child in the school. Now I don’t whether she says this to every parent or she actually meant what she said, we swelled in pride. No we didn’t take pride in the above-mentioned quality of yours but in the fact that you are well-behaved, you are assertive and not shy to express your needs. The teacher also said that you are most entertaining kid in the class and often you take over the teacher’s role. Often you are teaching kids alphabets and counting.

It was our first PTM, a beginning of many more such endless PTMs as you grow up and move on in life. But I must tell you, my little 30-month-old kiddie, you are a darling and mama is so proud of you. You are such a precious treasure.

Everyday with you is a God’s blessing. This phase of motherhood has so far been the most cherishing and wonderful. Here, you are able to tell me your likes and dislikes. You are able to judge us and you know when we are cross with you and you really know how to snuggle up to us after your misdeeds. You keep us occupied with your thoughts, actions, rhymes and other careful observations. I already feel that you are growing too soon too fast. And already, I dread those days when a oh-so-serious primary school kid will overtake this cherubic toddler.

I send out silent prayer, thanking God, for giving me the most precious gift of my life. Everything else is so pale.

New year

Ahhhhhhh, already 10 days has passed into the new year and mama has still not written a word. Sorry, MLS. Let me do a quick recap of whatever you ahve been upto these past couple of days, weeks and months.

1. You have really become a BIG girl, telling mama that “bhoot-voot koi nahiin hota mama, woh hamar khoon nahi lega”. now is it the school or the maid or the endless crappy TV prog that you watch that made you come up with bhoot and all….only bhoot knows.

2. Chotta Bheem, an animated modern day bheem series on Tv remains your fav prog on TV. So much so, that when your dad asked you help the other day you plainly said, “madaat toh bheem karta hai, papa.”

3. your fav movies happen to be Jab We met, ghajini and whatever aamir khan does, be it aallll izzzz wellll or his advertisments on TV. shahid kapur is called Nagada and Aamir is referred to as ‘meri adhoori’.

4. Now you no longer wants to go to your playschool. you keep repeating that you want to go to a big school in a big bus.

5. Your fav activities are cooking, cleaning, putting your dool to sleep, playing hide and seek and being a teacher.

Heading towards 3

My MLS is still not three. there are still two good months to go before we hit this milestone. But she behaves like 3 going on 90. Not a joke, you have to be with her to believe it. Are all kids, these days, super-confident, super-active and super-intelligent? I doubt if I displayed her levels of intelligence when I was 3.

The other day, I accidently dropped my soap into the WC and MLS was watching me. I apologised and said “galti se hua”. So off goes the chatter box, “Mama galti galti kuch nahiin hota. Apne soap gira diya. that’s it.” I guess either I or the husb would have said something like this to her, when she would have done somthing coz her favourite phrase happens to be “galti se hua”. She also scolds me whenever i shout at her dad.

My bro met with an accident recently, and the little one goes and tells him, “mamu gaadi tez nahiin chalana kabh. See accident ho gaya na.” She loves to act all grown up and has her two cents ready on every topic. She has already decided what to do when she grows up……she wasnts to be a doctor (yes, it’s so cliched)

The other day I tok her to a dance school and the instructor said we will take your daughter as she is already five. I told him her age and he couldn’t believe that someone less than 3 can be so sure about things like , “i want to learn dancing, not painting”. So sadly mama and MLS had to come back and wait for atleast a year and half before she can pick up her dance lesson

First stage show

Today I am in a good writing mood. My bog which is the most neglected thing besides exercise is smiling ear to ear coz I am writing my second post in a single day.

A week back it was MLS’s first stage performance. It was her farewell party in school where parents were invited as children would be performing. We were told by the teacher that we needn’t worry as MLS knows her rhymes with actions like the back of the hand. So we quite sure that she would put up a spectacular performance and make us all proud.

On the assigned day, the I and the husb along with her nani and nine-year-old cousin took her to the school. She was dressed in a pretty white frock, sans any make up. We were asked to arrive at 10 am an hour before the show was to start. We reached the venue huffing and puffing as we were 10 mins late only to see only four odd parents waiting with their overly dressed kids. In the delhi heat, kids were wrapped in silk, satin, heavy make up and much more. Anyway, after playing on a couple of swings , MLS got terribly bored. She was whisked away by her teacher as they wanted to do last minute rehersal. MLS got cranky as she wanted to sit with us and started crying. So we got her outsude and waited and waited and waited. It was 11.40 and the show was still to start. Parents and kids were getting restless. I lost my patience and went to the director of the school and gave him a pices of my mind. He apologised profusely saying they are still waiting for parents and can’t start the show as there are couple of group performances.

Finally the show started at 11.50 and the second turn was of MLS. we took our handycam and digicam to record this momentous feat. But MLS refused to budge from her dad’s lap. Her performance was supoosed to be group rhymes where all that the kids did was actions and the teachers sang the rhymes. Now this was something which MLS didn’t like to do. And so she didn’t budge despite our repeated requests. Finally the group went without her and then there was a fancy dress competition and a solo performance. And the solo thing perked up MLS. She just walked into the stage, took the mike and started singing her rhymes with actions. Quickly we recorded that moment even as parents and teachers were in splits. After 4 poems, she wanted to continue, but we quickly got her down as other kids were waiting for their turn. Her solo act set the precedence and every parent was nudging their child to go on stage and sing something.

Her nani heaved a sigh of relief as she was quite upset by our MLS’s earlier non-performance. The day was truly spectacular for her proud parents too.

Award time

I have rarely written about myself in this blog. But when one of my favourite blogger Kiran awarded me the ‘Honest Scrap’ award , I couldn’t help but think about myself and pen down things. First, I would like to thank K for this wonderful award. Coming from someone whose blog is a must read everyday, it means a lot to me. I am delighted and since it’s an honest scrap it’s easy to write about.
For the honest scrap award, I need to list out ten honest things about myself that no one knows about and I need to pass this on to 10 other bloggers.

First things first

1. While in college, I never thought I could step out of house without eyeline, lipstick and heels. Motherhood has taught me that kajal is quicker to apply than a liner and having chipped nailpaint on toes is no crime.

2. Post pregnancy, I can’t sleep beyond 6 hours at a stretch, no matter how much tired I am or how much I would love to laze around.

3. The only time I get to read my books are during my 1 hour metro rides to and fro from workplace.

4. I am technologically-challenged. I have an i-pod (gift, obviously) which I rarely use, I can’t upload pics from digicam to my comp and I hate reading e-books.

5. I strive to lose weight but my will power is the weakest when it comes to food.

6. My greatest nightmare is being stuck in a lift.

7. I fear dying an invalid. I want to leave this world in the pink of my health.

8. My spending hasn’t changed with the rising income. I still spend on the same things as I used to when I was earning 2000 bucks a month.

9. My intuitive power is strong. I can often sense negative vibes from thousand miles if a person is upset with me.

10. I hate ‘me’ time. I like being surrounded by friends or family.

I would like to pass this on to
1. Cudddles Mom
2. D
3. Solilo
4. Parul
5. Chandni
6. Mona
7. Ceekay
8. Sraikh
9. Kopili
10. Tharini

Chronicles of motherhood

What do I blog about Miss Little Sunshine who does a dozen things a day which are potential posts, yet, when I sit down to pen them it just gets completely erased completely from my mind. Post motherhood, I tend to forget things pretty easily. At times, I have trouble remembering a face, at times it’s the name and sometimes bits of conversation. Don’t know if it’s only a phase or the beginning of certain diseases.

Coming back to the point, the MLS is getting into a mode of self-authority. She is quite assertive about her choices and would rather not budge from them. Be it what she would like to eat, wear or hear (stories). She has also become appreciative and shows her genuine affection to people who matter to her. Last week, I was away on an official trip for three days and the moment I enetered home, she smothered me with kisses and said ‘I like you a lot’. Perhaps, it was her way of telling me how much I matter to her. Those are the moments I live for. The never ending morning sickness, agony of a C-sec, countless sleepless nights and the emotional, physical and mental scars of post partum just seem so trivial in front of this pure love. Blessed are the people who can experience such pure joy in their lives. It’s a love which is unbiased, selfless and regardless of how much you scold or smack them, they will curl up to you at the end of the day.

MLS, I don’t know how life existed before you but surely each day with you is etched in my memory. At least, I try to imprint it in my mind.

A Bollywood fan is born

Yeah, my Miss Little Sunshine is true-blue Aamir Khan fan, a la her mom.

It seems i was hibernating as far as my blog updates are concerned. A really rocking incident is what pushed by big fat bum to log on to this site and start blogging again.

To begin with MLS is a huge Bollywood fan as far as song and dance movements are concerned. But till date she hasnt ever been completely engrossed in any movies. Last week, we were watching 3 Idiots on TV and MLS too was watching it with the interest of an earnest Bollywood fan. i was feeding her and suddenly out of the blue she starts crying. Her incontrollable sobs run for a good 10 mins. I am left perplexed and I ask if she is feeling unweel, sick or what.

After a good crying, she starts explaing…in between wails “Aamir Khan was crying” And i Burst out laughing. It was this scene where both boman irani and khan is crying post the delivery of the baby. everyone was crying in the movie in that scene. My God, my poor little girl couldnt understand why everyone was choking and she too joined.

So now this little one knows her Aamir from Salman and SRK from Big B.