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Archive for October, 2008

An ode to “My Lifeline”

Whoever said Books are a man’s best friend couldn’t have been more correct. For books were there with me at every juncture of my life. I can associate certain books with certain periods of my life. Happy moments, sad moments, depressing phase, pimple-sprouting period, etc, etc.

The first memory of books that come into mind are my rhyme and story books. Though I don’t vividly remember much about them its just a colorful juxtaposition of pictures and words.

Summer vacations in primary school can be tracked down to me rooting for David Copperfield or felling sad for Oliwer Twist. I would also be reading and re-reading the posrtions where food was described in detail in Enid Blyton’s Famous Five series. I could salivate for their ginger ale, marmalade, jams and chocolates. Even as I write this, I can visualize the majestic Moor and Timmy wagging his tail.

I associate Sidney Sheldon’s books with my secondary school. While in Class VIII, I stumbled upon a Sheldon book in my school library. And instantly I became his fan. But I don’t read him anymore. In hindsight, I thank Sheldon for those lovely late nights when I hid a Sheldon novel in my biology textbook and pretended studying. My poor parents wondering why I study so hard:)

College was when I became a huge fan of Paulo Coelho, had my share of Chicken Soup and feasted on Garcia. Post graduation was easily completed with the help of Arundhati Roy, Taslima Nasreen, Salman Rushdie, and Alice Walker.

I started reading A Suitable Boy by Vikram Seth a few months before I got married. At over 1000 pages, this is one book that I have taken a year to finish. In between, I read many books but this book, each of its characters remains etched in my memory. So, if I were to associate a book with my wedding then it would be “A Suitable Boy”.

In between, I may have read hundreds of books. Books are companion who used put me to sleep before Sunshine came into our lives. My books now provide me company on my metro journey to work. The one-hour journey to and fro suits me perfect for I am able to finish a book in two weeks time.

A few of my favourite books include The Hungry Tide, Alchemist, Loss of Inheritance, The God of Small Things, To Kill a Mockingbird, Alice in Wonderland, Love in the time of Cholera, Celestine Prophecy, and many more. The list is never-ending……………..

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My Miss Little Sunshine

I thank my life….

When I hold you in my arms.

When I see your gooey smile.

When you ask me to lift you so that you can rest your head on my shoulder.

When I see you sleep peacefully besides me like a fairy.

When you gently press those tiny lips on my cheek.

When you say words to impress me and make me happy.

I am extremely mad at you …

When you act as a notorious bully.

When you throw your food on bed, carpet, sofa

When you rub your food-smeared hands on my office wear.

When you empty my bag and attempt at tearing a page or two from a book.

When you throw a tantrum and wail inconsolably

When under all these situations I am still left helpless loving you more, my child.

The best moments in my life are…

When we take a walk, me pointing you to flowers, moon and stars.

When you have a bath with your dad so that I can finish reading newspaper.

When we walk together with you holding your hands.

When you feed me your food, carefully putting the spoon in my mouth (It’s another matter that usually its the carpet or the bed that gets the food eventually).

When you diligently repeat every word that I tell you.

When you make an innocent face, looking down when I am yelling at you for a prank.

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A 17-month update

Well she is just a month away from being a year-and-a-half. My Miss Little Sunshine is getting naughtier by the day as she is becoming clever. She understands whatever I tell her and often amazes me with her reply. I usually speak to her thinking she won’t understand and the smart cookie gives me an exact answer.

Sentence formation from two to three words is going on and her repertory of words has increased. The other day she saw an apple and said aapplee. Then our favourite game while giving her a massage is saying alphabets. From A to D she says on her own. If I say A she will say B and so on. Beyond that she repeats after I blurt out. She also says 1, 2, 3.

She has also started enforcing her choice. Today while I was putting on her sandals, she said “No” and instead got her shoes. She demanded her shoes be put on and would say Mamaaa chalooooooooooooo as I drop her and the maid to my MIL’s house before leaving for work.

She hasn’t been weaned completely. She is still nursed to sleep and whenever she wakes up she needs the comfort of the breastfeed to fall asleep again. I am finding it tough and don’t understand how to wean her completely.

Also, I want her to sleep peacefully throughout the night without waking up and also in her own cot. At present she co-sleeps as she gets up in the middle of the night and has to be put to sleep again. It becomes a little tiresome transferring her to and fro from bet to cot. Ahem, when will this get over????

I read books to her at bedtime and in the morning when we are reading the newspaper, I give her a paper to read. This makes her feel all grown-up and happy. Usually she spends 15 minutes gazing through it before her patience wades off and the paper finds its way to the bin.

Happy 17 month b’day my sweetheart. Without you, this mom wouldn’t have known the true joy of loving without expectations. Your smile, babytalk and pranks are what keeps me going throughout the day.

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Metro musings

I travel to and fro to work in the metro. The metro ride is usually of 30 minutes and never have I felt uncomfortable in a metro journey. It’s not a journey where you may feel nauseated if you don’t get a seat. It is a ride where seats should ideally be offered to people who are in need.

The only time I have wished someone offered me a seat was when I was pregnant and had swelling in my feet. Even though, it was quite evident that I was pregnant, rarely have people offered me their seat. There have been a few instances when an auntiji or a young college girl would have offered the seat but they are too few to be taken note of.

I often see young people being oblivious to the fact that someone else needs a seat. Either they look the other way or pretend to be asleep. This sets by blood boiling and I often barge in and ask the person to vacate the seat for the old gentleman or a lady who has an infant in her arms. Where has civility gone? Is chivalry an obsolete word in the modern day dictionary? How can people sit comfortably when you see someone else is in need of a seat?

I prefer to stand and whenever I get a seat I make it a point to vacate it to people who should be there instead of me. It gives me immense happiness when I give my seat someone in need, never mind half the time they don’t even bother to thank you. Courtesy, well what’s that? People step on your toes, push you and never bother to apologize.

Sorry, this is Delhi. I guess I am a fool to expect people to show concern for others. Sorry, I may be generalising but if 8 out of 10 people behave this way, what can I say?

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Today, I met a friend for lunch. This is a guy who has been married for about 10 years now and has a seven year old son. I knew he was having an unhappy married life. He started discussing his marriage during the course of our conversation.

He feels that he cannot coexist with his wife anymore. He thinks his wife needs counseling. “She has become a nagging wife and behaves foolishly,” he says.

Theirs was a love marriage. I asked him where you not aware of you wife’s habits when you were dating each other. He tells me lot of things change when you start sharing a bed under the same roof. Now they have zilch physical and mental intimacy. He says he sees very few happily married couples. Most of them are happy to be unhappily married and looks for avenues outside marriage to keep themselves busy. He is extremely busy with his work and whatever time is left is devoted to the son.

Why is the institution of marriage crumbling? How our parents were happily married and stayed together till their last breath? He tells me they used to compromise a lot. Now we don’t want to compromise. “We compromise everywhere right from our bosses to colleagues and the last place I want to end up compromising is my home,” he says. I am left speechless.

Well, why is compromise such a negative word? Isn’t it supposed to help us live our lives in a better way? By compromising a bit, I share a seat with my fellow passenger in the metro train. Agreed, both of us are uneasy and not in the best of comfortable seating but its better than standing an hour in an over-crowded metro. So, isn’t compromise a better choice than having to suffer?

Why do people forget that gray is better shade than black or white. This is a shade that allows us lot of liberty. We can always look for an in-between solution for our problems. In the same way marriages are not either happy marriages or unhappy marriages. It can be a marriage which has its shares of ups, downs, joy, fights, laughter, arguments, sorrow, adjustments and compromise.

This friend’s son has started figuring out the mounting tension between his parents. But they will not separate as they do not want their son to have a troubled time trying to divide time with both of them. So will the kid be happy seeing his parents being unhappy for the sake of his happiness. Does parenting tell us that being together is the key to good upbringing of kids?

My friend, please wake up and smell the coffee!!!

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A beautiful poem

This is a poem that I read in one of the fwd mails and I wanted to keep it for posterity. I loved this poem and hope to indulge my Miss Little Sunshine as much as possible. Life is short and we should never shy away from laughing and enjoying it as much as possible.

DAD – BABY RACHEL – MOM

A sad Dad\\\’s poem…
This is a beautiful poem wriiten by a Zimbabwean dad for his daughter who was detected with cancer. Let us pray to almighty that the baby is hale and hearty now. Dear God, please don’t play a cruel joke on the parents

TO MY CHILD

Just for this morning, I am going to

smile when I see your face and laugh

when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning, I will let you

choose what you want to wear,

and smile and say how perfect it is.

Just for this morning, I am going to step

over the laundry and pick you up and take you to

the park to play.

Just for this morning, I will leave the

dishes in the sink, and let you teach me how to put

that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will unplug

the telephone and keep the computer off, and sit with

you in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell

once, not even a tiny grumble when you scream and

whine for the ice cream truck, and I will buy you one

if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won\\\’t worry

about what you are going to be when you grow up, or

second guess every decision I have made where you are

concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let you

help me bake cookies, and I won\\\’t stand over you

trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take us

to McDonald\\\’s and buy us both a Happy Meal so you can

have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold you in

my arms and tell you a story about how you were

born and how much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let you

splash in the tub and not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let you

stay up late while we sit on the porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will snuggle

beside you for hours, and miss my favourite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run my

finger through your hair as you pray, I will simply be

grateful that God has given me the greatest gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers and

fathers who are searching for their missing children, the

mothers and fathers who are visiting their children\\\’s

graves instead of their bedrooms. The mothers

and fathers who are in hospital rooms

watching their children suffer senselessly and screaming

inside that little body

And when I kiss you goodnight I will hold

you a little tighter, a little longer. It is then,

that I will thank God for you, and ask him for

nothing, except one more day…

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My Miss Little Sunshine wants to be incharge of everything. She roams around the house keeping a track of returning things to their rightful owners. She will tell other babies how to sit on a pottyseat and pee. She will scold in her own sweet language if one does not listen to her. It is an absolute joy watching her. These are the times when I thank God for his blessings. To having me gifted with this bundles of joy. An absolute sweetheart who has leadership qualities too. My MIL and SIL keeps telling me that I dont have to worry about my second kid as my Miss Little Sunshine will do a good job of an elder sister.

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