Posts Tagged ‘friends’

Come, my friend

Well, that’s what she called her dad one day.

And her other friends are the stray dogs and ants. If a stray is outside our house, MLS promptly would want to feed the dog. She would coax me into taking out a bowl of milk and bread. She would the feed the stray to its heart’s content and would keep on patting the animal in a matronly fashion. The other day a she saw a spider spinning its web around an ant and came running to her dad, “help my friend”, “who spider ant ko kha raha hai”. She couldn’t rest till the time the said spider was shoved away.

Hours pass into days, days into months and months into years. MLS is already 3 years and two months. In a couple of months we will go through the biggest trauma of her schooling years—the big bad world of nursery admissions. In Delhi, it is scenario which gives every parent of three-year-old sleepless nights. I am keeping my fingers crossed and hope to cross this hurdle with ease.


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Of this and that

This 22-month-old lil baby of mine has suddenly grown big. She is now the leader of a group of kids, aged between 9 to 16, who go round for evening walks in the society where we stay. Miss Little Sunshine has loads of friends and is a favourite with her Manu Bhaiya, Swaati didi, monini didi (mohini), iman bhaiya (Himang) and shuti didi (shruti). They take her to the park and play bat-ball with her. She can’t get enough of them and neither are they tired of dancing to her tunes. Thanks to MLS, we now know a lot of our neighbours.

MLS: “Where are you going, mama?

Me: Office

MLS: Mujhe naai leke jaa rahe?

Me: Aap chotta baby ho

At this she points to her five-month old picture on the wall and says :WOh Chotta baby hai.” I am big, i can go to office.

MLS wanted to know where the uncle ( a Kathakali mask that hangs on one of our walls) pees? I am speechless.


MLS is a big chatterbox, calls out to everyone and wants to be the centre of attention. She simply loves the park or playing outside. Making her sit inside the house is a task in itself.

She loves soup, juice and ice-cream. She is not very fond of non-veg and dislikes paneer as well. God, what will I do? every night she asks for an ice-cream and soup or juice every evening.

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Of Friendships and Friends



I think friendship is a completely misunderstood concept, especially in my social circle. I guess the people I know give friendship such a backseat that it often ends up meaning a remote phone call and some pleasant chit chat.


Not that I am whining about my friends in this post, I have lots of friends. Some great friends, some not so great and some that have deteriorated to the realm of just Diwali and New Year SMSses. You know what I mean.


For me friends have always held a special place in my heart. They are the ones whom I turn to when things go wrong, they are the ones whose company I crave for when I need to have a party or simply to crash out. They are my ego boosters and also ego tamers. They make me look at the world beyond those rose tinted glasses.


Our friendships evolve with time. Some are our school buddies who know how we looked and behaved while growing up, some are office buddies who know how we tackle deadlines and some are just our agony aunts or punching bags. You look up to every friend of yours for a different reason.


Well, I guess I am digressing. Getting back to the point I guess we think our friends are not capable of going beyond the customary obligations. With relatives we take things for granted but when friends do things for us out of the ordinary it leaves us with gratitude for them. Is that really important?


Maybe we need to rework the equation. Friendships should not be about gratitude. It is like walking into your buddy’s house unannounced yet expecting a warm cuppa with a broad grin on the face. Can I do something like this with any of my friends? Sadly, I can’t recollect even one name. Most of them are busy with their lives and the few who would have welcomed me with open arms do not stay in the same city any longer.


Gosh, how I miss my friends, their homes and their lending ears. Is anyone listening?




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Today, I met a friend for lunch. This is a guy who has been married for about 10 years now and has a seven year old son. I knew he was having an unhappy married life. He started discussing his marriage during the course of our conversation.

He feels that he cannot coexist with his wife anymore. He thinks his wife needs counseling. “She has become a nagging wife and behaves foolishly,” he says.

Theirs was a love marriage. I asked him where you not aware of you wife’s habits when you were dating each other. He tells me lot of things change when you start sharing a bed under the same roof. Now they have zilch physical and mental intimacy. He says he sees very few happily married couples. Most of them are happy to be unhappily married and looks for avenues outside marriage to keep themselves busy. He is extremely busy with his work and whatever time is left is devoted to the son.

Why is the institution of marriage crumbling? How our parents were happily married and stayed together till their last breath? He tells me they used to compromise a lot. Now we don’t want to compromise. “We compromise everywhere right from our bosses to colleagues and the last place I want to end up compromising is my home,” he says. I am left speechless.

Well, why is compromise such a negative word? Isn’t it supposed to help us live our lives in a better way? By compromising a bit, I share a seat with my fellow passenger in the metro train. Agreed, both of us are uneasy and not in the best of comfortable seating but its better than standing an hour in an over-crowded metro. So, isn’t compromise a better choice than having to suffer?

Why do people forget that gray is better shade than black or white. This is a shade that allows us lot of liberty. We can always look for an in-between solution for our problems. In the same way marriages are not either happy marriages or unhappy marriages. It can be a marriage which has its shares of ups, downs, joy, fights, laughter, arguments, sorrow, adjustments and compromise.

This friend’s son has started figuring out the mounting tension between his parents. But they will not separate as they do not want their son to have a troubled time trying to divide time with both of them. So will the kid be happy seeing his parents being unhappy for the sake of his happiness. Does parenting tell us that being together is the key to good upbringing of kids?

My friend, please wake up and smell the coffee!!!

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Marriage and friendship

Do women cease to exist as individuals after marriage? Is it always the ‘couple’ and ‘family’ that comes into picture when we talk about partying, vacation and catching-up? I fail to understand why do many of my girlfriends suddenly became busy after their marriage. I am a working mom of a hyperactive 16-month baby and yet I enjoy catching up with friends, would take out time to meet them (without ‘family) and would love to go on a all-girls-holiday. It makes no sense to me when one of my friend who hasn’t got the time in 16 months to visit my baby because she seems to be ‘paralytic without her husband’. Every now and then when I call her she says she will make the plan with her husband and come to meet the baby. Now, she is a journalist who can travel to the remotest corner of the city without much trouble. I understand that both of them may want to meet my Miss Little Sunshine but that doesn’t mean that you can’t visit her twice. Now, she tells me her husband is out of town for 15 days so she will get the time to meet me. Hallelujah, am honoured!!!! And this is not a one-off case. I have seen so many of my friends entering a cocoon after their marriage. What has marriage got to do with keeping in touch with friends? Does ‘I’ take a backseat and ‘friends’ are completely to be ignored after marraige?

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