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Posts Tagged ‘love’

Why are we scared of talking to a stranger? Forget talking, even passing a smile. The feeble smile, that comes halfway through on seeing a child quickly vanishes when the mother looks at you. It’s almost as if you did a crime by smiling at someone unknown. What is it about strangers that we always guard ourselves against?

I have always let loose myself when it comes to strangers. It’s about opening a part of yourselves to a stranger. He may or may not judge you. She may or may not like you. But if your get the vibes of making a connect just go ahead and do it. I always follow my heart and choose my strangers without a care.

Perhaps which is why the man I chose to spend the rest of my life with was a complete stranger. A stranger who met me in a public transport and started chatting to me out of sheer boredom. I was deeply into my book, but folded it when I saw the man was getting terribly bored and talking to me was his only escape from the treacherous traffic snarls. What began as a polite conversation, moved into a casual friendship, soon to be a four-year long relationship that lasted in exchanging vows. If that day, I had not encouraged the stranger in carrying forward a conversation, I would have lost the most wonderful man I have ever known.

 So open up. Sure, you should be wary of strangers. But never close the possibility of knowing a stranger beyond the boundaries.

 

 

 

 

 

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Turning Five

And I am back, once again. These long absences from the blogging world is not just sheer laziness but the fact that I write for a living. So I would rather read in my spare time than write again. But write I have to. Write, I will. For you. My Milss Little Sunshine.

You turned 5 last week. What a joy it is to see you grow. And with it a part of me also dies every day thinking that soon you will flap your wings and fly off.

No, I am not going to suffer from an Empty Nest Syndrome. But I just want to cuddle you all the time, harass you with sloppy kisses, lift you up and just feed you small tiny bites of food. But these things are slowly becoming a passé. Lifting you isn’t as easy as it used to be. You are your individual now and would like to eat on your own than let me feed you. Then hugging you and kissing will not happen according to my whims. Though more often than not you are nice and allow me to distress you, but then I know this physical pampering will slowly fade away. Sigh

Love is such a selfish thing. It always wants to own everything. Possess everything. And such is maternal love that it learns to outgrow being possessive. For 9 months, I was the only one who possessed you. I learnt to share you with your dad, grandparents, family, and now your friends. As years grow by, more people will be added into your life. Follow your heart and I shall follow you.

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Parenting perils

There is all this brouhaha over parenting. There is this school of thought that says spare the rod and spoil the child. Then there are a set of parents who believe that saying ‘no’ to a child is not the right approach to parenting. As far as I am concerned, I don’t go by any rulebook. Though there are certain things which I often would like to do without giving any heed whatsoever to the rulebook.

I have my days when MLS is given a tight spank on the bum or even a slap on cheek. Though I regret it later, in the heat of the moment, I lose all my control. The instances which make me mad and lose all patience is when she refuses to get ready on time even as her school bus is about to reach doorstep or when she refuses a meal even as I am hurrying to get her ready and head to office.

Now, I know yelling or spanking a child is not the right way to get things done. But from where do you bring patience when your life is a roller-coaster ride all along. Most working moms would agree that time is a crucial factor them. For that matter even SAHMs too have their strict schedules. In this age of instant gratification and a marathon race, where does one find the patience to sit with a child when he or she is throwing a tantrum? My MIL has a favourite saying, “Parenting is a book and each stage is a chapter. The problems with kids would always remain, it’ just a new chapter with every stage.” Yeah, I know. When she was an infant I longed for her to be a toddler so that all those feeding and nappy changing could come to an end. Now that she is a toddler, I long for her to be a bit more mature so that she values time.

God, it’s a never ending saga. But for all this cribbing, when my lil MLS comes and rubs her nose on my cheeks and plants a kiss, I know I am blessed. All my hardships just melt away in the twinkle of her eyes.

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9/11: Love and Longing

Well, the memories can never fade away. It is day when thousands dies in the US of A and many million hearts were broken. It is a day when two towering towers collapsed even as a flabbergasted world watched in shock and awe. It is a day when words seemed too hollow for the tragedy that affected a nation that never thought terrorism could affect them.

It was also a day when two lonely hearts said ‘I do’, no not at the altar, but as a prelude to the D-day. Eight long years of existence and four years of certified togetherness. The bonus is a two-year-old who was to start playschool today but played the perfect spoilsport. That it’s pouring since two days just added to the toddler’s crankiness.

I love these days. I can’t remember the last time I saw delhi in shades of gray for more than 48 hours. MLS starts playgroup on Monday and so starts the morning madness at our household.

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The shortest maternity leave

A piece of news that caught my attention today morning.

 

Rachida Dati, the French Justice Minister, has not won many friends among women this week, at least, not among right-thinking women. Not only did she return to work five days after having a baby – by Caesarean section – she was characteristically svelte for her Cabinet meeting: dark, manicured nails, spindly black heels, a jacket with leopard-print lining, the works.

The newspaper Le Figaro, ungallantly pointed out that she has a bit of a tummy, but it’s hardly noticeable. Miss Dati has declared that she has no ambitions to be a role model for women. Just as well.

She is a controversial figure. She is believed to be the face of modern woman by many an ideal feminist. She is a single parent who still has not revealed the child’s father’s name and has risen to this rank from a poverty-ridden childhood. Whatever she has done is admirable. But till to that point.

 

Just taking a five-day maternity leave, instead of the official four-month leave given by France, Dati has set an example. She is back to work after a C-sec and is strutting around in her stilettos while waving her perfectly manicured hand. She is indeed to be lauded for her antics. I too had a c-sec and am still wondering how she managed to join work after 5-days of her surgery?

 

No, I am not being in awe of her physical stamina or grit. But, yes, I am thinking what kind of a woman it is to leave her five-day-old kid to join work? Three days must have been bed rest and the next two days would have been spent in personal grooming. It was indeed not dire circumstances which made her choose to abandon (yes, I say ABANDON) her child to the care of a nanny who will be putting a bottle every two hours. A baby, who doesn’t have a father by his side, is now deprived of motherly love too.

 

Do such women ever give it a thought what happens to the kid. You brought the child into this world you bloody well take care of him. Every child gets raised in a different manner, but, please don’t rob them of the absolute essentials of life. Please don’t give birth to a child if you can’t take care of the baby the way it should be. Please don’t, for babies are to cherished and loved, not delivered and left.

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Marriage: Surviving, did you say?

Yeah, that’s what many say.

A colleague of mine recently asked: “Is marriage worth it?” This 28-year-old woman is “beyond marriageable age” by our societal standards. She faces the pressure of getting married from all quarters. Though she does want to get married but “where are the good men?” is her common refrain.

 Well I gave her my two cents regarding marriage. Yes marriage is not anymore about digging into a blueberry cheesecake at Big Chill’s and shopping at Anokhi. Marriage is no longer about long drives on NH 8 or landing at a multiplex every Friday. Marriage is also not about gifting ipods, coll cell phones or hitting the latest discs. These do not go amiss when you get married but they do take a backseat as more pressing issues introduces itself to you.

 

1.   Bills, bills, and more bills. They become important once you are married. You have to curtail them, keep a track of your expenses and ensure that the late fee is no longer cut.

2.   Maid and household chores. Managing your home is fun but not the haggling with the maid over an unclean utensil.

3.   Relatives. They suddenly resurface and expect you to pay heed to social obligations with outmost sincerity.

4.   Off days mean you spend time with the family.

5.   Girlie nights and trips is a luxury that you yearn for.

 So, I told this colleague how relationships change once you get married. According to me marriage is a beautiful relationship which brings forth all aspect of your personality. It allows you to identify your potential. The boat may rock but marriage is surely rocking!

 

As Paul Tournier rightly put it, “That is what marriage really means: helping one another to reach the full status of being persons, responsible and autonomous beings who do not run away from life.”

 

 

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A bully in the making?

I am very worried about my little one’s behaviour. She is adorable, friendly and usually listens to what we tell her to do. At the same time she is aggressive, is short-tempered and loves bullying. My SIL’s daughter is a month younger to Sunshine and is a quiet child. Now my dear Miss Little Sunshine loves her little sis but equally loves to pull her hair. So much so that we don’t leave both of them alone in each other’s company. I don’t know how to make her behave. It is not about being an embarrassment. It is more about Sunshine hurting the other child. We have tried different methods to make her see reason. Love, scolding, staring till looks could kill her, yelling…. Every rule in the book has been tried so far. She has this great fascination for pulling kid’s hair, and literally with all her force, using both her hands. Also, she doesn’t like to share anything with this little cousin of hers. She will snatch everything from her hand. I worry if she will be like this even when she enters kindergarten? How can I make her understand and develop love and compassion for the other kid? Any answers!!!

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